The Official 2008 Riding the Pine NFL Preview

Yeah, I know. The NFL season has technically already begun. But really, did Thursday night's Redskins-Giants game feel like regular season football? No, no it didn't didn't. You would have been better off watching reruns of The Office then watching that game, thanks in large part to the Washington Redskins and their ultra-conservative, minimually productive offense. They certainly stole the Steve Fairchild gameplan: run, run, short pass, punt, lose.

So forget that, this Sunday brings a slate of intriguing games. And doesn't the first Sunday of football seem like a holiday? All that anticipation, savoring each moment off pointless pregame hype by ESPN, Fox, CBS (and I guess the NFL Network too)before watching your favorite team unwrap their new offseason toys and start a quest to make history. And then of course, that anticipation turns to disapointment for most teams (especially for us Bills fans) as you watch enough baffling playcalling, pourous defense, careless turnovers to grab another beer (or ten) from the fridge.

We know the dissapointment will come eventually, it does for 31 fanbases every year. But we watch anyway. Why? Because if Eli Manning can win a Super Bowl, then so can your team. (Except for you Miami, there's better chance that fictional Miami bloodsplatter anaylaist Dexter Morgan will take his knife to Bill Parcells than the Dolphins have of winning more than six games.)

Not a second too late, here are my predictions that are sure to be way off, but are just too much fun to write or read that I have to do it...

AFC

AFC East
predicted finish:
1. (It pains me to type again...) New England Patriots*
2. Buffalo Bills
3. New (Jersey) Jets
4. The Miami 1-15's

I was reading something from last year's preview that made me decide to start this explanation from the bottom. About Cam Cameron and the Dolphins, I wrote: "As for the Dolphins, they're going to be bad this year. I'll leave it at that."

It turns out they were historically bad, pathetic really. Only the ineptitude of Brian Billick and the Ravens kept the Dolpins away from what would have been a glorious 0-16 season. So now all of a sudden a guy name "Tuna" is going to rescue the Dolphins? Come on! There's no doubt they'll be better than last year, how could they not, in fact they'll give some teams some troubles. I'm positive the Bills will have at least one close game with them this year. But the bottom line is, they'll still be losing. The fans that "fill up" half of Dolphin stadium will devasted. (But like I said earlier with each loss, they can still hope that Dexter will chose to go after true evil: Bill Belichick.)

Anyway, the AFC East, as a whole, is better than last year. Yet, I still think it will finish in the smae order. Last year, I predicted the order correctly (when most people incorrectly thought the Bills were inferior to the Jets... wow, that seems familiar)and I was close to nailing the Bills record. I said 8-8 or 9-7 and earning the final Wild Card spot. They finished 7-9 (argh, again) and were a two cololosal (mess)-ups away from 9-7 (damn you Denver and Dallas games.

So with caution I'm going to pick the Bills for the Wild Card again this year. My reasoning is this: they have to better than last year, right? They have an easier schedule, heatlhier team (knock on wood), more talent, and Trent Edwards has the look of one of those QBs who frustrate other teams because his stats aren't great, he isn't on Sportscenter a lot, but his team wins a lot. I'm thinking a young (and I mean young, not the freak touchdown machine years) Tom Brady or Ben Roesthislberger. Now, those guys both won Super Bowls in their respective second years, this is Edwards second year. I'm just saying...

Again, it's that optimism thing. Why else would someone compare a second-year, third-rounder, with a history of injuries on a team that hasn't made the playoffs since 2000, to a future hall of famer and a perennial Pro Bowler? Teams like the Rams of 99 and Giants of last year are to blame for this phenominom - they give too many teams (and by teams I mean the fan base of these teams) false hope that this will be their year. Because (cynic alert) in all liklihood it won't be.

I really do like this Bills team though. They just have to show that they can stay healthy, manage to not shoot themselves in the cleat (that means you Jason Peters), and not to put starters on the IR because of spite (I'll hold off going into detail about the Angelo Crowell situation since no one seems to know what's really going on here. But I'm hoping it's not as bad, or bushleague, as it sounds).

I could go on talking about the Bills, but I'll save some of that for the regular season. As for the Jets... well, they remind me of the Bills during the Tom Donahue era. Signing big name free agents, tossing money around to washed-up former Pro Bowlers, and speaking of washed up older Pro Bowlers, trading for one to play QB. Granted, these Jets have a better offensive line than those Bills (because Donahue mostly ignored that aspect of football) and even a almost 40-year old Favre is better than the Bledsoe version 33.0. But those Bills team had a really good defense (better than this year's Jet's D) that kept them in games. When all is said and done I'm thinking 7-9 or maybe 8-8 for the Jets because they too have an easy schedule. I wouldn't be sursprised if they were worse than that though and I would be shocked if they end up making the playoffs. In fact, I think the only way for them to make the playoffs is through some league/ESPN conspiracy to get Favre into the playoffs. Which would never - wait a second, I could definitly see that happening.

(One more thing about Favre. I'm wondering about the fact that the Jets recievers are used to catching lob shots from Pennington and are now going to catch fastballs from Favre. Will one preseason be enough to make that adjustment? I say no. The Jets will lead the laegue in dropped passes.)

On to the next Division...wait, you're wondering why I'm only talking about three of the four AFC East teams. I thought that was required since most of the so-called previews of this division I've watched have only talked about three teams and acted like the remaining team was unimportant. I don't know if it's a coincidence but the team that all these networks/websites neglected was the Bills. Well, okay, I'm choosing to ignore the Patriots.

AFC North
Predicted Finish
1. Cleveland Browns
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. Baltimore Ravens
4. Cincinatti Bengals (also known as the Bangalas de Cincinatti)

I messed up the Browns pick last year, but even worse is that I just found out that I used the Dexter joke in last year's column too (weak). Anyway, it's risky picking the Browns this year, they went from being everyone's surprise pick (albeit not much of a surprise since they were 10-6 and robbed of the playoffs last year) to team that is overrated. All because of a tough schedule and a weak preseason.

Well, the Steelers have a tough 17 weeks too and they didn't impress me with their preseason performance against Buffalo in Toronto either. However, I do think that the QB simply known as "Big Ben" has passed Carson Palmer as the best quarterback in the division. Derek Anderson is good too, no fluke like some have suggested, but he does have to tone down the turnovers and be more consistant - that's the case for most young signal callers though. Joe Flacco is way, way, way behind all of them so far. The Ravens better be patient with him or it may seem like they have another Kyle Boller sized bust, when in fact the young man just needs time to learn and develop.

The Bengals seem like a mess, so I picked them to finish last but they could have flip-flop with Baltimore or the two teams could have the same record. Either way, both won't be good and Marvin Lewis probably won't be the coach too much longer. He might be better off coaching a better run organization anyway.

Here's my thoughts on the receiver fromerly known as Chad Johnson and the headache currently known as Chad Ocho Cinco. He wants to be traded he says. Well what happens if he gets traded to a team with a player who already wears 85. If I was that player I would refuse to sell him that number no matter how much he offered. The humor of Ocho Cinco wearing 86, 87 or anything else besides 85 is just too great. (And I know other agree with me because I've seen this same point in other sports columns, but still it's the first thing I thought of when I heard the name change so I had to put it in here).

AFC South
Predicted Finish
1. Indy Colts
2. Jacksonville Jags
3. Tennesse Titans (Home of the Home-run illegal forward pass-back)
4. Houston Texans

Every team in this division is good. But only one has Peyton Manning.

Like many, I was tempted to say that this is the year that Jacksonville passes Manning, Dungy and crew. The Jags will be tough for everyone to handle, but I can't put them at the level with the Colts, Patriots, or even Chargers, yet. I love the way their team plays, physical, smash mouth, crushing defense, but I would be one of the people calling shenanagins if a team with a fanbase as palrty as Jacksonville's gets to bask in the euphoria of a Super Bowl Championship before the us die-hards in Western New York.

Their D is great (although hopefully they'll miss Marcus Stroud), their running game is terrific and I like Garrard as their Quarterback. But their recievers are suspect and they'll have some problems outside of the game, most recently with the shooting of Collier. So at this point they're still a wild card. A very good wild card team.

As for the Titans, they're also very good. They're led by a strong defense and an excellant coach. Furthermore, I think Vince Young will be a very good quarterback in this league (right now he has a very good W-L record, mediocre stats and a ton of critics). I still thought Cleveland deserved that final playoff spot last year instead of the Titans, and this year Jeff Fisher's crew will be the odd team out.

Houston has a good young team, I think they're still a few years off though. I'll admit it was fun last year to waatch this team and DE Mario Williams give a Texas-sized middle finger to all the people out there that thought they were insane for not picking Bush. I still think they might have wanted to go with Young, mainly because I'm not sold on Matt Shaub yet, but almost every team in the league would kill to have a player like Super Mario. Especially after the Giants showed last year how important a relentless pass rush can be.

It's just too bad they play in one of the toughest, competitive divisions in the league.

AFC West
Predicted finish
1. San Diego (Super) Chargers
2. Denver Broncos
3. Oakland Raiders
4. Kansas City Chiefs

The Chargers should win this division easily. I picked them as the champs last year and they didn't come through. They did (and actually still do) have some key injuries but really worried me was their cowardly coaching. I call it "pussy ball." It's when a team plays overly conservative to try and minimize mistakes but they're really just killing themselves with predictablity. Dick Jauron is guilty of this too, and that worries me (playing "pussy ball" and injuries are my biggest concerns for the Bills). The Redskins employed this method on Thursday night too, it didn't work out.

Here's another reason I think the super talented Chargers won't make it to the Super Bowl, and it doesn't have anything to do with Shawne Merriman's knee. It's more of a hunch, a feeling if you will. It happened recently in the NHL with the Buffalo Sabres and in the NBA with the Phoenix Suns; a talented offensive jaugernaut rules the regular season, looks unbeatable at times and have fans thinking championship. Only in the end, those same fans are left wondering how a team with so much talent, and so many wins, could fail to even make the championship round. They're frequent guests in the Conferance championship round but a freak amalgamtion of bad luck and injuries allows another team to steal the title.

I had to suffer through it with the Sabres, Suns fans had to live through it, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen to the Chargers. I hope it doesn't because for the most part I like them more than Indy or definitly more than New England. But I believe in these sort of parallels, but don't worry Bolt fans I'm sure Ladanian Tomlinson has a more optimistic view.

If my aforementioned analogy is right (which it almost certainly is) than Denver, Oakland and KC aren't going to come close to San Diego. Denver should be decent, Jay Cutler is a good young player to have leading your team. He's far from elite, but could take a team to the playoffs. The Raiders should be better than last year and Darren McFadden will be exciting to watch, not as good as Adrian Peterson, like some expect, but still a Rookie of the Year favorite (not necessarily the winner though).

The Chiefs will be bad. Arrowhead Stadium should still give some teams headaches so they'll squeeze out enough wins to avoid being being the team to pick 1st in next year's draft. They'll be in the top five though, regardless of the health of Larry Johnson too.

NFC

NFC East
Predicted finish
1. New (Jersey) Giants
2. Dalla$ Cowboy$
3. Philadelphia Eagles
4. Washington "I swear I had them in last even before the sucked it up on Thrus. night" Redskins

I picked the Giants to finish last, last year. They won the Super Bowl. So I'm picking them first this year. Hey, what can I say it's a tough division to play in and a tough on to prognasticate.

The Eagles were my NFC team last year, they'll challenge for a playoff spot again. They're hard to peg because their season depends on the health of Donovon McNabb. He could be the MVP or he could miss half the season...

The Skins will struggle (see above) but they're far from being awful. And that leaves the Cowboys.

I'm seeing this team pegged as not only a Super Bowl favorite, but also as the team to win it all. And if that's not enough everyone is picking Romo to win the MVP. Usually when a guy chokes in every big game he's played, the media are all over him. But I guess if it's a nice story and he plays for the Cowboy$, so I guess he's a surefire Super Bowl MVP and one of the best players in the league. Are you kidding me?

Romo had a flat-out awesome regular season last year (besides the fact that he was scared of the crazies in Orchard park), but so did Daunte Culpepper a few years ago. Now Culpepper is retired. I certainly hope that Romo doesn't get hurt like that and share the same fate, but it goes to show you that one great year doesn't mean that Romo is in the same league with Manning and Brady. Despite what ESPN might think, he's not even the most proven QB in his division (that would be Eli Manning, you know, the guy that won the Super Bowl MVP in the real world).

That being said, I think I may see why these pundits like him so much (besides the fact that he has a star on his helmet). His story is a good one. He works hard and isn't smug like Brady or pompous like TO. I would probably root for him but again, he has that star on his helmet, so I won't. Wade Phillips is an easy guy to root for too, the Bills shouldn't have canned him when they did. Unfortunatly for him, Jason Garrett is going to be the head coach next year.

(Olympic side note for a sec, because a) they were awesome and I never wrote about them and b) Usain Bolt looks a little like TO and acts a lot like TO. Bolt has one of the potentially greatest names ever, but why has it not been legally changed to Lightning Bolt. That would be cheesy for anyone else, but for the fastest person on the planet, it's badass. He could, and should, get a Lightning Bolt tattoo on his skull and still be badass. No wonder the Jamacians are better on the track, their fastest guy has a cool name like Bolt, our guys are named Gay and Dix... Whatever, Bolt would get crushed in the NFL. Take that Jamaca! Last Olympic note: I'm glad weren't too many incidents involving the US and China, you know, because of the whole Jack Bauer situation.)

NFC North
Predicted finish
1. Minnesota Vikings
2. Green Bay (wait.. Favre's not our QB anymore?)Packers
3. Detroit Lions
4. Chicago Bears

This will be one of the more exciting division races. I have the Vikes winning it and the Packers taking one of the wild card spots. I still have the Packers winning the Monday Night opener in Lambeu though. Let's hope Adrian Peterson can stay healthy, I'd love to see what he could do in a full 16 game schedule.

For the Pack, Aaron Rodgers reminds me a lot of JP Losman. Take that for what its worth. Also it concerns me that he has been hurt numerous times in his career while backing up a guy that, you know, never missed a game! How did he get hurt all the time without playing? How will he make it through the entire season? And how will the Brian Brohm/Matt Flynn tag-team fare in the regular season?

The Lions have talented players, but as long as Matt Millen is their GM I'll never pick them to make the playoffs.

The Bears? Well, I think they are a few months away from stating Devin Hester at quarterback.

NFC South
Predicted finish
1. New Orleans Saints
2. Tampa Bay Bucaneers
3. Carolina Panthers
4. Atlanta Falcons

This year's Super Bowl will be played in Tampa Bay, none of these teams will be there though. Sorry Bucs fans, you've already had your one Super Bowl for the decade. (Although Tampa is underrated and they don't get the respect they deserve. Anyway, I think they just barely miss the playoffs, but it could be a toss up between them and Green Bay.)

Carolina is an interesting team. I can see them being really good or really bad, so I'm predicting something in the middle (like 7-9 or 8-8). John Fox is on the hot seat, I've always thought of him as a good coach, so we'll see what he can do with this squad.

Atlanta will lose a lot. But Michael Turner could be a surprise Pro Bowl running back (albeit after some players drop out due to injuries) and Matt Ryan could be a surprise winner of the Rookie of the Year. He'll almost certainly get some sympathy votes.

The Saints will win the division, I like a lot of their offseason moves, but they won't be a strong threat to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl.

NFC West
Predicted finish
1. Seattle Seahawks
2. Arizona Cardinals
3. St. Louis Rams
4. San Fran 49ers

I think the Seahawks will lose their opening game to the Bills... but that won't stop them from making their second ever Super Bowl appearance. It's ironic that the NFC Super Bowl team would come from one of the weakest divisions in football. Seattle will win thanks to their awesome defense (Lofa Tatupu will win Defensive Player of the Year), Matt Hassleback carrying the offense for large stretches and because of coach Holmgren. Still, a banged up team, playing on the opposite coast will lose a close opener to another playoff team: the Buffalo Bills (or at least, I've talked myself into that).

Arizona will win some games over inferior opponents, but in the end their season will go down the tube like beer going down Matt Leinart's funnel. (Hey, he's just living the dream!)

The Rams will start the season out on another long (I mean looooooong) losing streak and still manage to edge out San Fran for last place.

Or will they.... In JT O'Sulliven we believe!

AFC Wild Card Teams
1. Jacksonville Jaguars
2. Buffalo Bills (hell yeah!)

NFC Wild Card Teams
1. Dallas Cowboys
2. Green Bay Packers

(...and if you're still reading) The Super Bowl
Indianapolis Colts over the Seattle Seahawks

The battle of retiring coaches is won by Dungy and the Colts on a last second controversial call that reverses an apparent Seahawk touchdown. Seattle fans, Bill Belichick and Clay Bennett are responsible for the blown call. All hell breaks loose.

And a month later Brett Favre retires...

Or does he?


(to be continued.... again)





*- Indicates a team of sinister cheaters who's pact with Lucifer is about to expire (hopefully)

Le Voyage de Rochester Rhinos

One of the few sports that I played and didn't, well, ride the pine in, was soccer. It wasn't about winning because our team almost never did, but it certainly was fun. I was decent at it too and learned about the sport, I love following the World Cup and related soccer events. So, naturally I'm a Rochester Rhinos fan.

For the first time since the Rhinos Frontier Field days, I went to a game on Friday, July 11. A lot has changed with the team since them, for one they went from a dominating, future MLS squad to a team that now has virtually no chance at the MLS.

They still have plenty loyal fans, I found this out on Friday. And if I lived close enough I would certainly love to pick up some season tickets. The fans have to be pretty loyal to accept the logo change. Now, I've accepted the fact that in today's sporting society, any team's logo/jersey modifications will suck. Teams continue their weird psychological experiment with fans to see how far they can push the limits of the fans' fashion (see: Buffalo Sabres slug logo).

We're only a few years away from the revealing of the Cleveland Browns new image: a football defiantly sticking out of a pile of shit. And what about the new Oklahoma City basketball team, what will their new fans be rooting for? A homage to their theft from Seattle? The Decafs? Or something more practical perhaps, will we finally have a pro team that goes by the badass nickname: The Unicorns. Like my floor hockey, the Unicorns of Death, the Oklahoma City Rabid Unicorns could have a logo with a snarling, horned beast, complete with razor teeth, slanted eye-brows and the clincher: a blood soaked horn. Now, that would be cool. Of course, they'll go with something dull. Can't wait to watch Kevin Durant and the "Team formerly known as the Sonic."

Anyway, back to the point of the Rhinos new insignia. Nothing was wrong with the old crazed Rhino puncturing a soccer ball look. But they dropped the "Raging" from the Rochester Raging Rhinos and replaced it with a logo that looks like something out of the Babar the Elephant children's series. "Look it's Babar's friend Rabab the Rhino."



Paetec Park is a solid soccer venue though. It was a lot better than the last time I was there (when the press box was still an unfinished wood area with power tools laying around). I had great seats towards the front of the upper deck and at midfield with some knowledgeable and friendly Rhino Rowdies (actually, these weren't exactly the rowdy bunch, but still diehards in their devotion). The concessions served tasty local beers from Rorbach's and I even scored a free white Rhinos shirt (which despite the presence of the new logo is still a sweet shirt).

Needless to say, it was a great atmosphere. Of course, there's no denying that Paetec Park isn't located in the best spot of the city. There's plenty of security around the stadium, but veer off in the wrong direction (like we did) and you end up some shady parts of the city, almost (and this might be exaggerating a little) like the Rochester version of The Wire. I even think I saw a glassy eyed Bubbles duplicate at Tops.

After experiencing the entertaining game (which had the Rhinos beating the Seattle Sounders 1-0, by the way), all these complaints became an afterthought. Honestly, I didn't know much about this current incarnation of the Rhinos. I knew that they were in last place in their division (they aren't anymore), were turning things around but still needed a few pieces (where's Doug Miller when you need him?). The trade for Andrew Gregor will certainly help, and he got a warm ovation from the crowd. But my favorite Rhino (and certainly a crowd favorite) quickly came to be the dynamic Johnny Menyongar.

At 5'5", number 10 is a small, but fearless. And he's a dart on the field, a constant offensive threat and a magician with the ball. One time he took what appeared to be one too many dribbles as he ran into an entrapping double team. He did a nifty spin-o-rama and some how snuck himself and the ball past the defenders and streaked towards the goalie. Soccer at it's best for sure.

One of my other favorite moments of the game came during a corner kick. For most of the night the Rhinos had all the corner kicks. They all turned out the same: the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" would blare on the speakers, the ball would go in the air, a Sounders player would win position and clear it. A somewhat frustrating recurrence. But during a Sounders cornerkick in the open end of the stadium something exciting happened. Now, this must happen often because the people in our section were telling us to "watch this" as a cascade of streamers rained down over the Seattle player and on to the field. And it was A LOT of streamers too. To the delight of the crowd, some got stuck on the players cleat as he tried to run back up the field. I was stunned that this was allowed, but it was still good stuff (and possibly a prelude to allowing fans to hurtle disposable cameras at Bill Belichick on the sidelines?).

That corner kick came at the end of the game. After the Rhinos had dominated position most of the game and were a questionable offsides away from a 2-0 lead. At this point, the Rhinos either tired or let up because the Sounders roared back and almost ruined the night with a stoppage time goal. There only other serious chance of the night came earlier when a defensive lapse led to a point-blank shot from around the penalty box area which I thought for sure would be the equalizer. Luckily, keeper Scott Vallow made a clutch save that was easily the stop of the game.

My only other complaint has to do with the PA nonsense. I can tell you how irritating it is when I'm watching action on the one end of the field and the PA announcer comes on and booms, "please direct you attention to the scoreboard (away from the action) and check out the kiss cam." No one cares about the kiss cam, or some jackass lingering on a couple trying to, you know watch the game, and keep prodding them to kiss. This happened other times with birthday messages or telling the fans to watch the Rhinestones dance team (who I did enjoy by the way) on the other end of the field. And people wonder why soccer gets a bad reputation in the U.S., it's because of stuff like this. It's an exhilarating sport to watch live (even in 1-0 games), fans don't need to be treated like ADD riddled idiots who can't follow the action and need to be stimulated with artificial chants and worn-out novelties like the kiss cam. The Sounders almost scored when the Rhinestones shot balled up T-shirts into the crowd, most people didn't notice because the soccer game apparently came second to the wadded up ammunition shot from a shirt bazooka.

I like to think we're better than that, and some in the organization must agree. The post game, "meet the Rhinos" event is a great coup for the fans and a nice PR move for the transitioning soccer club. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go iron out free bazooka shirt.

Go Rhinos!

My Chicago Bulls history, the NFL, and Sydney Crosby's "playoff beard"

Let me start by talking about something that Riding the Pine has rarely talked about: the NBA. Back in the 90s, I was a huge fan of NBA basketball. I liked it as much as I enjoyed watching the Bills, Sabres and Yankees. My team was the Bulls (da Bulls). Now, I've always been one to bash the bandwagon fans - fans who are only fans because "their" team won a championship(s) or becomes a dynasty.

I'll admit it certainly seems that I was guilty of hoping on the Michael Jordan bandwagon and then hoped off as soon as he left the Bulls for good and the team struggled to win 20 games a year. But allow me to defend myself on this one. (Because I never want to be grouped into the same category as people that started loving the Red Sox in 2004 or those "die-hard" Patriot fans who feel that they are directly responsible for the Pats dynasty. And we know that only way that would be true is if they had excellent video recording skills.)

Anyway, I started rooting for the Bulls the same time I started rooting for the Bills, Sabres and Yankees. It was around second or third grade maybe, I'm not really sure, but I was young and started to get interested in sports. The Bills and Sabres were logical choices because they were the locals teams and virtually everyone I knew loved them, and that passion rubbed off on me. The Yankees were still a New York state team and they were the team I knew most about, I became a huge Don Mattingly fan and in the process I became a Bronx Bomber fan (my hatred for the Red Sox would develop later down the road).

When I started rooting for the Yankees that hadn't won a title since the '70s and I couldn't tell you how many World Series they had won. The Bills reached plenty of Super Bowls early in my sports career, but still young Scott had not experienced rooting for a champion. That is until the Chicago Bulls came along.

Michael Jordan was one of the first players I knew about, and he was so fun to watch that i couldn't help but slowly develop into a Bulls fans. Also was the fact that their other great player shared the same first name with me (hey look I'm just like Scottie Pippen I would shout in the driveway while air-balling a 3) and there was no local teams (hello Buffalo Braves, Rochester Royals, anyone home?).

The Bulls three-peating in 91,92 and 93. I was very young during their first title against the Lakers, I watched them alot the following year but I don't remember a lot about their Finals matchup against the Blazers that year. I do remember their early macthups against the Knicks (although I couldn't tell you what years they faced off against each other in) and I remember shooting hoops in the driveway (yeah, I did that a lot as a kid) and humming that awesome NBA on NBC music while attempting reverse lay-ups and MJ tongue-out fade-aways (and of course a few cries of Marv Albert's "Yes!" were sprinkled in there as well). The first finals that I really got into was the spectacular Bulls-Suns matchup in '93. The Bulls eventually three-peated (and yes I duplicated John Paxon's winning shot in my driveway)and it was great to be a Bulls fans.

I'll speed this up a bit: Jordan then retired to play baseball. Secret suspension or not, I was not happy with this. He came back in March a few years later, but lost to the Magic in the playoffs. The Bulls then won three more titles - I enjoyed them all like native son of Chicago might. But when Jordan retired and Phil Jackson was replaced by Tim Floyd and the Bulls started sucking, my love for the game took a hit. The NBA overall just wasn't as fun as those days in the mid-90s, a time I like to call "The NBA Jam era."

During those days the Yankees were winning nearly every World Series, the Bills were still making the playoffs and the Sabres had the best player in hockey (The Dominator) and went to the Cup in 1999 (I couldn't tell you what happened after Game 1 because I had that erased from my memory Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind style.)

The NBA just wasn't as much fun, I eventually evolved to watching and rooting for certain players. (I was, and still am, a big Iverson fan. I had a huge interest in the Sixers-Lakers finals, but again after Game 1 everything went downhill.) The product was losing it's luster, and unlike in the NHL where the incompetent Gary Bettman and crew nearly destroyed the league I had a team that I still loved to root for. I couldn't say the same for the Bulls.

Now I don't watch the NBA much at all, still root for players and good stories (like Chris Paul and the New Orleans Hornets, or SU alum Carmelo Anthony). I also like watching college ball and a player that really became easy to root for was Derrick Rose. I even picked Memphis in my bracket because of the super freshman. I was hoping he would land with an entertaining team like with Kevin Durant with the Sonics. So imagine my surprise when I found out the Bulls had miraculously won the Draft Lotto and had a chance to add a great player in either Rose or Michael Beasley. I never really watched Beasley play so I don't know too much about him, I know he'll probably lead all rookies in scoring and he'll be the front runner to win the Rookie of the Year. But, I desperately want the Bulls to select Rose - My Bulls fanclub membership could depend on it.

Point guard has always been my favorite position. A good point guard can make every one around him better and instantly improve a team. Rose is an electrifying and rare talent and he could be the first step to making the Bulls relevant again. They have some good young players in place, but are victims of poor drafting and dumb personal moves. They won a playoff series last year and challenged the Pistons in the second round, and then bombed this year. Rose could, and I think probably will, become a player like Paul or Deron Williams that can be a leader for a youthful team and a superstar that will pack the seats. Beasley has the superstar quality, but Rose will ultimately make the team better. It's simple really, Beasley will score more points and Rose will win more games, the choice is up to Chicago and hopefully they'll give me a reason to welcome the Bulls back into my alliance with the Bills, Sabres and Yankees.


Quick NFL note because I haven't commented on the Draft yet.
- Really liked the selections of McKelvin and Hardy, both were exactly what the Bills needed and both can be playmakers and have Pro Bowl ability.
- I can see the Bills winning 9 games hopefully, although I think it might take at least 10 in the loaded AFC. I love the young, talented nucleus of the team but it all depends on Trent Edwards. We better hope he can be efficient "all he does is win games" type of QBs, otherwise the Bills won't be seeing the playoffs for a while.
- Despite what some people (mainly from ESPN) think, the Bills are still better than the Jets and Dolphins. Mangini is supremely overrated, I'd rather have Jauron as a coach and I think Jauron is an average at best, overly conservative coach. The Jets went crazy in free agency, but it seems like they just spent a ton of money on players who just aren't that good. But at least they have Kellen Clemons...
As for the Dolphins, they'll improve on their one win season, but I can't see them winning more than five or (if they're really lucky) six games. They'll be healthier, but so will Buffalo. And all this hype about Parcells? I'm not too worried, he'll never lead Miami to Super Bowl and I doubt they'll make the playoffs before he leaves.
- Last NFL note, I can no longer watch NFL Live during the offseason. They should get it over with and re-name it Dallas Cowboys Live featuring Spygate. Because that's all they talk about and during the slow offseason I can see talking about the Patriots cheating scandal (I cringe everytime I hear the term Spygate, couldn't we come up with something less grating to the ears.) But they also give every minute detail about the Cowboys, like Pacman Jones might be moved to receiver (who cares?), Roy Williams sucks but is still going to Pro Bowls (wait, that's news?), Terrell Owens is in some TV show no one has ever heard of (can someone take that man's voicebox away?) and I don't know why anyone would care about daily Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson updates. On any other team Romo would be a good story to root for, but on Dallas he's become this overrated, Hollywood celebrity. He's had 1.5 good seasons, been to 2 Pro Bowls (only deserved one), choked in a number of big games, and the only game that I really watched of him he threw 5 (would have been 6, if Terrance McGee could catch) interceptions and was praised as a clutch player, and a "winner," single handily slaying the Bills. Also, to anyone who makes a power ranking and ranks the Cowboys ahead of the Super Bowl Champions: really? why? Oh I know, it must be Wade Phillips. Never mind then.

And finally after about 1,700 words I'll get to why I Sydney Crosby's picture is featured at the top of this particular column. I was watching the Stanley Cup finals (and probably still complaining about how the Sabres were the best team 2 years ago and would have won the Cup if it weren't for an extreme case of bad luck) when I noticed "Syd the Kid"'s attempt at a playoff beard. Now, with my facial hair history I shouldn't be mocking anyone, but Crosby's playoff beard is pathetic and is the reason why the Penguins won't win the Cup. The hockey Gods were kind enough to grant Pittsburgh the number one overall pick a million years in a row so they could pick up Crosby, Malkin, Fleury and Staal and win the east, but they won't, WILL NOT allow the Cup to be hoisted by a Captain that has the facial hair of a 8th Grade boy too afraid to shave and surprised by his new, deep voice. Seriously, when I first saw Syd's 'stache I had a good laugh. Comedy at it's finest. I mean, did I turn it to the Finals or did the Versus network start showing hockey-themed porn for the mullet crowd.

(Of course I have just jinxed it so Crosby will probably win several Cups and the Sabres will continue to unload their best players. I blame you Gary Bettman for my misery!)

And, until next time I leave you with this picture of Claire from Heroes making out with Lord Stanley.

Leap Day Return

With the writer's strike over Riding the Pine is ready for some new episodes. Good thing too, because there's lots to talk about since my last post.

NFL Free Agency

Last time I posted about the Bills I foolishly believed they could upset the Patriots. Like with most of my NFL picks I was wrong, very wrong.

Still there have been few more moments as sweet in my sports watching career than watching the over-hyped, cheating, suspiciously lucky, villainous Patriots lose the Super Bowl thus allowing the everything to be right in the Universe again. It took it a little while for the Karma Police to arrive, but boy that entire game was SWEET. And let me say this, I don't even like the New York Giants, they robbed the Bills of a Super Bowl title and they falsely pose as a New York team (they play in Jersey). But I rooted for them like they were the Bills, and in an occurrence as rare as a leap year, a team I was rooting for actually won!

Now, with free agency period starting, it's finally time to stop laughing at Patriot fans and concentrate on how the Bills can return to the playoffs (actually, I think I'll keep laughing at the Patriot fans, the arrogance radiating from Boston has single handily set mankind back several centuries and I have no problem with laughing at their well-deserved misfortunes).

And speaking of beating up on the Pats, one of the men that ruined Tom Brady's dream season, linebacker Kawika Mitchell signed on with Buffalo. I was desperately hoping that the Bills would somehow sign Lance Briggs (all of Western New York probably felt the same way), but I like this signing. Mitchell is certainly an upgrade and he can be a playmaker (he proved it with a monster game in Orchard Park in Week 16).

There has also been plenty of rumors going around that the Bills my be able to trade for DT Marcus Stroud. I don't know much about Stroud's health, but if he isn't damaged in any way than I would absolutely love this move. He's the kind of dominating D-lineman that the Bills sorely need, and with the today's release of the disappointing Larry Triplett the Bills need at Defensive Tackle is as big as Roger Clemens' ego.

NHL

I've always thought that despite their struggles the Sabres would still make the playoffs. Even as the 8th seed, they could still be considered a dark horse for the Cup (hell, Lindy Ruff has already taken an 8th seed to the Finals with the '99 squad). But the Blue and Gold are seriously pushing their luck with the stunning inconsistency they have shown this year.

I was against the Brian Campbell trade at first, mainly because it seems like giving up on this season. Even thought the Sabres are long shots this year, rather than favorites, I believe (like I said) that anything can happen in the playoffs. Plus, sometimes it's better to be the underdog then that favorite (when was the last time the president's cup winner has gone on to claim the Cup?). I do agree that the deal that sent Campbell to the Sharks for young winger Steve Brenier and a first round pick will be the right move in the long run. Reiger and crew have made of knack of ripping off teams at the deadline and have shown a keen eye for talented players. Brenier certainly looked great in his debut against Nashville (2 goals and an assist on the Vanek-Roy line). But, still it sure is frustrating to keep losing key players, and basically have the heart ripped out the heart of one of my favorite teams to root for, ever. Those Sabres from 2005-07 should have won at least one Cup, injuries and bad luck in general derailed them and this team can still amaze at times but they are no longer "good, scary good!"

MLB

I wish Hank Steinbrenner would keep his mouth shut. His calling the Red Sox Nation an ESPN created myth came off as a desperate attempt at attention and doesn't fit the level of class that the Yankees always try to instill within their organization. And saying there is more Yankees fan in the country then Sox fan is just pointless. Both teams have real fans, obnoxious band-wagon fans (although it does seem like Boston has more of this particularly vile creature), and both teams are are also loathed by nearly as many as root for them. It's comments like Steinbrenner's that cause people to hate the Pinstripes (and I really can't say I blame them for it).

In other baseball news, I have to comment on the Santana to the Mets deal. Obviously I wanted the Yankees to land him, but he's probably in a better situation with the Mets were he can feast on much weaker NL line-ups. I think the Yankees offer was better than the Mets but the Twins didn't bite and you can't really blame them for wanting to unload their best player to the National League rather than bolstering the already potent rosters of either the Yanks or Sox.

NBA

Recently, I have been intrigued by pro basketball as much I have been since the days when I was an avid watcher (those would be the Michael Jordan days). I may even write a future NBA column that equals my only other NBA column in greatness (last year's dunk contest column. And it figures that this year's contest was a lot better then the one I chose to write about).

And finally, in honor of the return of Riding the Pine, I give you today's pointless, completely random photo of a hot girl:

Damn you Hank Steinbrenner: or How I learned to Stop Worrying and face the fact that Boston sports fans are luckier than me

More and more each day, Boston is taking over the (sports) world. And I don't like it one bit, in fact something has to give soon, right karma?

Sure, the Red Sox tortured diehard fans before... well, before they became the Yankees version 2.0. But those fans still watched the Celtics and Bruins combine for a million championships. Now they have a superteam (the Patriots) that not only are better than every other team also have the fortune of being the referee's favorite team. They got Kevin Garnet for practically nothing, got Randy Moss for basically a backup specialteamer and a case of Samuel Adams, and now they might get Johna Santana.

This cannot happen.

I understand that the Yankees rationale that they would rather keep their coveted prospects than ship them away to Minnesota for Santana. I certainly agree with that plan too, I hated seeing the Yankees throw cash to guys like Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa. But the fact that Hank Steinbrenner is apparently running the show now makes me nervous. Very Nervous.

What makes me even more nervous though is thought of Boston having a rotation that features Santana, Beckett, Schilling, and whatever stud pitching prospect they don't trade to the Twins (Clay Buchholz most likely). The Yankees would never beat this team, it would be like some sort of baseball Bizarro World where the Sox dominate and the Yankees become the punching bag between the two rivals. Rod Serling couldn't even come up with a plot as twisted as that.

So why on Earth is Hank the Tank saying that time has run out on the Santana time table and practically conceding that the Sox can have him (for a cheaper price too, now that the main competition is gone). Will he be happy when Coco Crisp (that's Coco "the worst hitter in baseball, with the stupidest name in baseball" Crisp, to you) is the centerpiece in a trade that brings the best pitcher in the world to Fenway.

I understand the timetable was to ensure that the Bombers could go after other star pitchers like Erik Bedard or Dan Harren (who are cheaper, and could turn out to be better moves in the long haul). But Santana is still young, can still be dominant (despite the fact that he let down my fantasy team last year), and would look a lot better in pinstripes then in red stirrups. Plus he brings that intimidation factor to the mound, he's a true ace that the Yanks need to matchup against Beckett. Plus, look how good the AL is now. Cleveland isn't going away anytime soon, Detroit pulled the closest to Boston with the mega trade that brought Willis and Cabrera to Motown,and the Angels always dominate New York and appear to be players on the trade market as well.

The Yankees need better pitching to compete with these powers. Phil Hughes might be great, but I can't picture him being better than Santana. Plus you can't be afraid to give up star prospects to get proven quality. My favorite recent example of this involves the Red Sox and the best farm system in the Majors, the Florida Marlins. Boston traded away All-star (and future NL MVP candidate)Hanley Ramirez to the fish. Now I'm sure they wish they still had this star at SS especially considering the rotation they've had at the position over the past few years. However, in that deal they got Beckett in return, plus the Marlins refused to make the deal unless Boston also took their aging 3rd basemen; Mike Lowell. That deal worked up pretty well for them, and who knows, the Marlins will probably trade Ramirez back to the Sox in a few years when he wants a new contact (God forbid the Marlins team payroll passes the vaunted 5 million dollar mark).

In conclusion, trade some prospects, get a star pitcher, beat Red Sox, win World Series. C'mon Hank, that shouldn't be too much to ask of you. Who knows, Santana and Joba Chamberlain could even team up together and fight crime in the streets of New York during their spare time...

- Another point I wanted to make about the luck of the Irish (in this case Boston fans) is being able to watch a team that can't lose. And I'm not talking about the New England Revolution, who were toppled by the mighty Houston Dynamo in the MLS finale.

The Patriots were outplayed by the lowly Ravens on Monday night. Willis McGahee looked like an unstoppable force and the crowd was beyond pumped to watch their team hand a "L" to the Patriots record. (This is how I thought the Bills would have played a few weeks ago, but I guess JP Losman is no AJ Feeley or Kyle Boller).

Anyway, it's apparent that someone out there really does not want the Pats to lose. Ever. For the second straight week they had a crucial touchdown, that by league rules shouldn't have been and for about the tenth straight year the refs turned around a sure Patriots loss with their ill-timed bizarre calls that destroy the Patriots opponent.

The Patriots are the best team in the league, but they way the refs continue to favor them is laughable. The smugness of that team just makes it worse. They need to suffer a heartbreaking, devastating, borderline unfair loss in the playoffs. It's the only way to set things right, to shut up arrogant non-deserving, bandwagon fans and to assure everyone that evil doesn't always win.

- Speaking of evil and classless ways, I've heard some people roast the Bills for running a play during the Sean Taylor Memorial 10-man defense play. This is ABSURD, almost as stupid as the Redskins only putting 10 people on the field for that play.

Dick Jauron and the Bills are easily one of the classiest teams in the league. In fact, sometimes they're too classy, which is why bullies can embarrass them on national TV. But why should he let a struggle offense in the middle of a Wild Card race forfeit a play to honor Taylor. I don't think that's what a player known for loving the game and playing hard no matter what (Remember when he leveled the Bills best player punter Brian Moorman in the Pro Bowl) would have wanted.

And the Redskins could have easily stopped the play,they had Fred Jackson in trouble but he burned the defenders to the outside and galloped 22 yards for a well-deserved run. The Skins had a safety deep on that play, but I still would have thrown in maybe even in flea-flicker fashion. I don't think that would disrespect the Taylor (certainly not more then Skins fans cheering during the moment of silence) and it could spark the stagnant Bills offense to make a few other plays too.

Of course, the way this game was going a TD bomb would probably have been called back due to an illegal catch, or a phantom call, since this game was eerily reminiscent of the infamous "Tedy Bruschi game" where the Bills outplayed the Pats but lost because it was determined before the game that the previously stroked out Bruschi would be Defensive Player of the Week, and therefore the Patriots must win the game. They did in questionable fashion (again) and Bruschi did indeed win Defensive Player of the week honors despite an embarrassing night on the field where ESPN had to make a new stat (number of hits) to make Bruschi look good.

It would have been a great story to see the Redskins win to honor their teammate and friend Taylor, so they got the benefit of the doubt all day. But then something happened that gave me hope that all is not lost in the sports world. The Bills overcame all this and another dreadful offensive performance and actually came out on the right side of one of these heartbreakers.

One can only hope that this means that Trent Edwards is the Bills answer to Brady, Romo all the other late round picks that become legendary, and eventually Edwards may even be able to vanquish the evil forces coming from the New England region.

Either that, or the Yankees could just trade for Santana and he can knock out Tom Brady with a fastball to the head. Hopeful thinking? Of course, but for us non-Boston sports fan that's all we have now. Hope.

Badass Bills

The goalposts are coming down tonight. The field will be stormed by triumphant (and almost certainly boozed up) Bills fans. Actually, the game still has to be played but if the Bills can follow this simple rule, then they might be on their way to the biggest upset in NFL history.

That rule? Be the badass Bills, rather than the just bad Bills that limped through the two teams Week 3 debacle.

This means play with an edge, play like they're pissed off that everybody has already anointed the Pats as a 19-0 Super-Champion, the greatest of all time.

Forget that.

It's time for sweet revenge.

That's right, revenge for all those games that dubious, biased officiating aided the Pats to victory, revenge for the "Teddy Bruschi Game", revenge for the cheap shot on Losman earlier in the year and revenge just for being an pompous, no-class organization.

After the last time these two squads met I wanted desperately for Dick Jauron to sucker-punch Belichick during the post-game handshake. He deserves it, in fact I would start a fund to see an NFL person do this. How does www.suckerpunchbelichick.org sound?

Seriously, these guys do deserve a taste of their own chowder so to speak (a cheap shot for a cheap shot, eye for an eye), but that's not what it means to be the bad ass Bills.

Mainly it means to ditch this conservative gameplan that has been maddening to watch at times (are you listening Fairchild?). This doesn't mean to play stupid and take unnecessary risks, just open a the play book, and get the ball in the hands of the playmakers. Do some flea-flickers, some reverses, creative blitzes to take out Brady. I know, easier said then done, but it's still key especially with Lynch doubtful.

Of course, that's brings up another badass point. What would pump a Labatt-fueled, towel-waving crowd more than Lynch doing his best Willis Reed imitation and taking the field against silver and white clad Goliaths. Nothing would delight me more than a Marshawn Lynch stiff-arm punch to the face Tedy Bruschi, any blood or a possible busted face for the Pats linebacker "hero" would be a nice bonus.

Anyway you look at it, this is a colossal task for Buffalo. I mean when has a surging team that's won four in a row, been nearly perfect at home (damn you heart-breaking losses to Denver and Dallas) be 15.5 point underdogs. To make matters worse the league decided to make a pair of die-hard Patriot fans members of the chain gang this game. That's right fellow Bills fans, you should feel comfortable knowing that a crucial 4th and inches will be in the hands of two die-hard New England fans who are "glad to be part of history."

That's right, everyone has already gave these guys the Vince Lombardi trophy and a spot in the history books. You just know the league wants them to be undefeated going in to a Super Bowl match-up against Dallas or Green Bay (ooh....in Favre's finale nonetheless). They would be able to charge a billion dollars per 30-second spot during that game.

You know what, maybe know one can stop the Patriots from winning another title, they've certainly looked like the best team this league has seen in a while. But they're not undefeated yet, and I think some people might be surprised what this amped-up crowd can do for the Bills.

They were close from pulling off the shocker against Dallas, and this time there might not be any heartbreak, well unless you're a Pats fan. Pipe dream or not, you have to admit one thing... that sure would be badass.

One Year ago....

Riding the Pine sports/entertainment column made it's debut in the September 2006, Volume 6 Issue 1 of the Cardinal Courier. The debut column was called Forecast 2006 and featured some predictions of mine. Since I've had a mixed bag on my prognostications (mostly way off and off to a bad start in the NFL column), I've decided to re-visit my first column and evaluate my guesses.

Enjoy:

If you plan on heading to Vegas anytime before the end of the year, make sure you read this first. That’s because I’m going to give you my surefire predictions from now until January 1st. I hope no one made a spur of the moment Vegas trip with this column in mind. But if you did win money, that is one thing that I'm in need of.

- October will generate a number of fall classics, along with a few surprises. The Detroit Tigers will be the 2006 version of last year’s champion, the Chicago White Sox. They’ll weather a tough stretch at the end of the season but still fight of the Twins and White Sox for the AL Central Crown. They won’t stop there.
Strong pitching, led by rookie Justin Verlander, a solid line-up and savvy manager Jim Leyland will help them to edge out the New York Yankees, and AL MVP Derek Jeter, in a historic seven game ALCS (no bias here, I’m a Yankees fan).
The Mets will cruise threw the National League as expected. But with their chances of winning a subway series dashed the Mets will fall victim to the upstart Tigers. (And Detroit fans can temporarily forget the ineptitude of the Lions, and the postseason collapse of the Red Wings and Pistons.)
I was wrong here, but generally not too far off. The Tigers did upset the Yanks (only in the ALDS) and were the favorite over a team that upset the Mets. However, the Fall Classic failed to live up to it's prestigious billing as the Cardinals became the most unlikely of Champions since the 2001 Patriots (and hopefully neither team cheated their way to victory).

- The Buffalo Bills will exceed preseason expectations, finishing with a respectable 8-8 record. However, they’ll lose several close games as the result of bizarre officiating decisions. Meanwhile, The Philadelphia Eagles will be the biggest surprise in the NFL. The Eagles will win the NFC East, but they’re not invincible and won’t advance far in the postseason.
Wow, I really know that team from Buffalo. They finished strong, and were on pace to hit my predicted 8-8 when they split their first 14 games, before eventually losing the final two. And there was plenty of bizarre officiating circumstances that took a way victory for the Bills (especially in the opener against... who else, the patriots). I was also right about the Eagles (except no mention of Jeff Garcia).

- Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens will team together and form their own cable station where they talk about Bonds and Owens 24/7. They will call it ESPN.
I still like this joke, and it's still appropriate. Just throw in the names Mike Vick and Bill Belichick too.

- The Buffalo Sabres will overcome an average start and have one of the top records in the NHL before the all-star break.
The Sabres did have the top record, but they got off to a blazing start and didn't cool off until the Eastern Conference Finals.- People will tune into NASCAR to see where Ricky Bobby resides in the standings.

- Ohio State and Auburn will battle for college supremacy in the BCS Championship Game. The game will feature Heisman winner Troy Smith, but it won’t be the spectacle that last year’s USC/Texas game was.
Smith won the Heisman, Ohio State got pummeled by Florida, and I was drunk by halftime of this game.

- Emmitt Smith will fulfill his life long dream of competing on Dancing With The Stars, but ultimately he will fumble away the title of dancing champion to A.C. Slater. Luckily for Emmitt this will open the door for him to appear in other reality programs such as Laguna Beach and Nanny 911.
Haha, did Emmitt win Dancing With the Stars? Does anyone care? And does Emmitt care that he was seen on national television prancing around in a pink shirt?

- Roger Federer will continue to dominate men’s tennis, and Maria Sharapova will continue to make all her matches a must-see event.
Yep, Federer is still dominant (but come on, that was an easy one to guess), and Ms. Sharapova is still fun to watch (if you know what I mean...)

- Scott Pukos will win the title of St. John Fisher racquetball champion; unfortunately, he will later be stripped of the title after it’s discovered that he attended a luncheon held by Floyd Landis and Marion Jones
My favorite part of the column, and yes I am the racquetball champion and I decided to skip the luncheon with Landis and Jones and instead I went to a brunch sponsored by Rodney Harrison and Rick Ankiel (the HGH breakfast burritos were great, by the way).