Barry Bonds: MLB Homerun King?

I don't know if it was sheer curiosity or the fact that I for some reason should witness history, but I tuned in tonight to ESPN 2 to watch the Barry Bonds Show (and that's what it is because the Giants and Nats are two putrid teams to watch).

And this is an historic night, either way you look at it. Baseball is driven by the long ball and the homerun record isn't exactly broken every year. Plus, it's a historic night for cheaters as well. I mean, is there anyone out there who thinks Bonds is the true homerun king? That he never used steroids? Even the fans that pack AT&T park every night in San Fran can't be naive enough to think that their hero is a natural specimen. Probably Bonds own family (wife, son, even Godfather Willie Mays) must have their doubts.

I don't want to dwell on these issues (should there be an asterisk, how much has performance-enhancers helped Bonds out,etc.) too much since they've been written about millions of times, instead I want to comment one the spectacle that proceeded Bonds blast off poor Mike Bacsik. Interestingly enough, at the time I was reading a book called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell while I was waiting for Bonds' at bats. The book is about "the power of thinking without thinking," and details the split decisions and initial reactions that we make.
So, I tried to recall the first thing I thought when I saw the ball explode off the bat and Bonds raised his hands triumphantly.

My thoughts were strangely hollow, considering this should have been an epic MLB moment. I was glad it was over with, mainly so the spotlight can turn away from Bonds. I really wished that he would have hit this homer on the road (although everyone knew it would come in San Fran). A road's crowd reaction would have been priceless, a magnified chorus of mixed boos and embarrassed cheers that filled the air in San Diego when Barry tied the record.

After a few minutes of the nauseating firework display and countless shots of Bonds pointing to the sky, I was wishing that ESPN would show the replay of the scrum in the right field bleachers. That was an interesting facet of this story, who managed to wrangle this ball, which was essentially a nicely stitched orb of thousands of dollars, from dozens of other crazed people? What would become of this guy? Oh, and wouldn't it be funny if the person who got this ball was someone who wasn't even a Giants fan, someone who loathed Barry Bonds? Tell me that wouldn't make a great ESPN miniseries in 2017.

I also wish there was a camera in Bud Selig's house to document his reaction. I imagine him in a dark room with the curtains pulled down, empty beer bottles spread across the floor, with him going over how he was going to address the media about this, until he was mumbling to himself like Jack Nicholson is The Shining. Eventually he would fall asleep crying, using the pages from Jose Canseco's newest book as Kleenex.

Sad. But priceless nonetheless (and I think Selig has done a good job, certainly better than Bettman, this is just a tough spot for him to be in).

And what was Hank Aaron doing on the jumbotron congratulating Bonds? He may have figured that one day his record would be broken, but come on, not this way. I would get made if someone beat my high score in Frogger simply because they found a glitch in the game and used that loophole to topple my record, so how could he not be infuriated that this big-headed jerk broke one of the most hallowed records ever by injecting some steroids into his ass?

Furthermore, I could have done without hearing Bonds thank everyone and being cheered like a hero. If I'm a member of the Nationals, then I don't know if I would want Barry to thank me after hitting that ball. As of right now, 1AM Eastern Time, the Nats are winning 8-6, and I would love to see them win this game. Of course, Bonds doesn't care, he decided leaving the game to yet another curtain call is more important then winning.

Putting himself ahead of the team again, what a hero.

While he was thanking everyone, he even mentioned that he would remember this day for the rest of his life. Now, I'm not a fan of the guy and I don't wish him any ill will. But the sad truth is "the rest of his life" may not be that longer. Yeah, Barry, sorry but these things called steroids have some side effects too.

Hopefully, this won't end in anything tragic like that. Hopefully someone like A-Rod, Pujols, Miguel Cabrera or even some unknown prodigy (Ryan Braun?) will someday break the record by using nothing more than a wooden bat and their God-given talent. But for now the record books will state that Barry Lamar Bonds is the home run king. I can't help but wonder why a guy who has the talent to be a first-ballot Hall of Famer without any help (like Bonds), would be compelled to tarnish how he is remembered by messing with steroids. I mean what is better, to be know as one of the all-time great players that can do everything well or as a guy who is known in the record books as the greatest power-hitter but also who's name has become synonymous with cheating?

Now, I read something in the D&C the other day that I liked, it was a quote from a blog and it stated that instead of an asterisk next to the record, there should be a question mark. The symbol that is the very definition of uncertainty and doubt. I like that idea, everywhere that displays the records should always read:

Barry Bonds, All-time Homerun Leader ?

All hail the 'Thurmanator'

"If it is to be, than it's up to me" - Thurman Thomas

Yesterday my all-time favorite NFL player was inducted in to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Thurman Thomas, to me is everything great about the sport and about the Buffalo Bills.

The first NFL game I ever watched was the Greatest Comeback playoff game against gunner Warren Moon and the behemoths dressed in white and powder blue known as the Houston Oilers. Sure, I watched other Bills games before that, my dad is a huge fan too and I remember the jubilation's of the Bills pulverizing the Raiders to reach their first Super Bowl. And I remember the heartbreak having the Vince Lombardi trophy being kicked out of our hands and fall in to the lap of some guy who inexplicably likes to be called Tuna. Still, I was only in Kindergarten for that game, I was in bed long before shoddy tackling and one infamous kick would deflate the spirits of an entire region.

It wasn't until the Bills stunned the Oilers that I really watched a game, and by watched i just don't mean physically watch it (I had done that before), but to pout my heart into the Bills - and become a true fan of the Red, White and Blue team from Orchard Park. I knew all the Bills were - I knew the legendary QB Jim Kelly, his equally legendary back-up Frank Reich, I knew Bruce, Andre, Tasker, Talley, Odoms, I even knew lesser known players like Carwell Gardener who happened to be one of several Bills who came to my tiny school in York, New York to play the faculty in a charity basketball game. And I already knew who my favorite player was - the Thurmanator.

Of course, I didn't even realize how lucky I was to be able to watch the comeback - the game was blacked out locally, but we had a satellite dish and were able to watch it. My Uncle left at half time (only to make a grand reappearance in the 4th after stopping in a gas station and hearing the seemingly miraculous close score). I never stopped watching, I should have given up and went and played with my Ninja Turtles instead or went and played outside. But I couldn't leave, I just couldn't do it, even though the star QB was out and my favorite player was hurt as well. And in the end, myself and the rest of the faithful Bills nation were rewarded (on that day anyway) with a game that is unmatched in the history of football.

Anyway, my point is that when I think about how much i love the NFL and the Bills I think of this great team, their heyday, and I think about Thurman Thomas.

Thomas should have made it to the Hall last year, in his first year of eligibility, yet he was snubbed again. Apparently the voters had stayed up all night watching tapes of the Greatest Comeback and determined that Warren Moon was more worthy. In my book, not many players are more worth than Thomas and I'm not just saying that because I'm not just saying that because I'm a member of Thurmanator fan club (this was a real fan club that I became a member in when I was a kid, I got a autographed picture, an awesome T-shirt that donned his slogan: "If it is to be, than it's up to me", a keychain and a water bottle). In my mind, he ranks with Barry Sanders and Emmitt Smith as the premier ballcarriers of that era.

Watching his highlights this weekend was simply great. This guy could do things that can only be described as awesome. He was as versatile as Jack White and helped to revolutionize the running back position, thus opening the door for talents like Marshall Faulk and LaDanian Tomlinson. Watching the highlight of Thurman slicing through the G-men's defense in Super Bowl XXV was especially moving. It showed the best of this great player and made the "what if..." button in my brain explode. Thomas should have been the MVP of that game, regardless of where that one kick landed.

It wasn't always good for Thurman, he had some moments that were certainly not worthy of his great talent. The lost helmet (which I'm glad he could joke about during his acceptance speech), the Super Bowl fumbles, becoming a Dolphin (If I ever master the art of time travel and I'll make sure this doesn't happen so we can all be spares the image of number 34 in teal and orange).

He was definitely a character, and he learned to love the city of Buffalo. He still bonds with us, the fans, roots for the Sabres and even asked Bills legend Marv Levy to introduce him in Canton. And this got me thinking about another running back with character, something to prove, and the ability to run, catch and block: Marshawn Lynch.

When Thomas was drafted the Bills desperately needed a tailback, and he had a strong rookie campaign that allowed a young team make the playoffs for the first time in seven years and he helped to jumpstart a dynasty. I think I see some parallels with Mr. Lynch. The Bills haven't made the playoffs in seven years and have a young, promising roster that is led by Marv Levy. To imply that Lynch will be as great as the 1991 League MVP is a stretch to say right now, but it's a nice thing to think about. It gives us fans something we always strive for - hope. Hope that out team will someday reach the Ultimate Football Nirvana.

But for now we at least have those proud memories of a team that truly is one of the most remarkable in sporting history, and we can all remember fondly the greatest running back ever to suit up for the Bills - Thermal, the Thurmator, #34 Thurman Thomas.

Late Birthday Wishes

As you may have noticed from the update in my profile, my birthday was Thursday July 19th (gifts can be mailed to my home in Leicester). As I blew out the candles on my cookie cake (a very underrated cake by the way, I made several wishes. Here they are in no particular order:

A championship from one of my favorite teams (Bills, Sabres or Yankees). This one may seem overly obvious and the same exact wish of the entire male population. Nonetheless, I deserve to celebrate a champion. And as much as I love the Yankees, I think I would like to see one of the Buffalo teams break the Championship seal, it's not like the Yanks are exactly setting the baseball world on fire right now anyway, but if Shelley Duncan can continue to bash balls for the bombers... (and I don't mean bash balls in that way, ok Mr. Hardaway?)

So what are the Bills and/or Sabres chances? Well, we're a ways from either season starting, but as of now, I still think the Sabres have the better chance. Barring some key injuries (which I'm certainly not ruling out) the Sabres seem like a definite playoff team, and from there anything can happen.

On the other side of Western New York, the Bills have a young, promising roster. I trust the personnel on this team and I think J.P. Losman will lead Buffalo back to the playoffs. However, it's hard to tell what will happen. I hope it's the Bills year to finally become "that team" that takes he league by surprise with an unexpected run at the Lombardi Trophy, but I cannot say with full confidence that this will happen. As of right now, I'm thinking a 9-7 season and getting edged out of the playoffs on yet another dubious referee decision

Speaking of refs, wish number two: Certain refs change their ways, and stop screwing over the same teams!

It seems useless and cliched to blame refs, and if your team is winning then you won't notice the flaws as much as the losing side (for examples of this turn to page 136 in the Riding the Pine Sporting Dictionary and search the section labeled New England Patriot fans).

Still, a part of me can't help but wonder if some things may not be as they seem. Especially after the Tim Donaghy NBA scandal. Let's just hope this isn't happening in other sports. Because more scandals like this won't just be blackeye to the NBA (or any other league for that matter), it'll be a blinding blow.

My next wish is that all the news stories containing what I like to call "the usual suspects" cease to exist. This includes anything about people like Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, TO, Barry Bonds, Ron Artest and the new Keyser Soze of the group: Michael Vick.

I'm sick of these people, and I know you are too. The one good thing is that I may have found a way to circumvent all the hoopla around the usual suspects. I've trained my brain so that any time I hear their names coming from my TV, I immediately break out into a non-life threatening seizure. This method isn't perfect, but it's better than the alternative. As a bonus, I can train other people this skill as well, and maybe even learn to detonate the seizures at the sound of Stephen A. Smith's voice as well.

Well, my birthday thread has turned more negative than I would have like, so this will be my last wish, and I'm about 99% sure it will come to fruition. I wish that the Harry Potter series comes to a satisfying conclusion that is equally as magnificent as the rest of the series. I'm cheating on this a little too, because I'm already 500 pages into the final installment and I can say that it has been excellent (tough to even out down just so I can write this).

And if only I had some magic in me too, the rest of my wishes would come true too...

Who's Now? Who Cares

I know there's not a whole lot of exciting stories going on in the sports world right now, but does ESPN really have to stoop this low?

Of course, I'm talking about ESPN's "Who's Now" segment that let's fans decide who is more "now." This is great, I can't even begin to tell you how many nights I've layed awake wondering who would win a "who's Now" poll between Derek Jeter and Sidney Crosby. If it was who's more accomplished Jeter would win easily, and if it's who has a better future, the answer is Crosby. But since it's a poll that makes no sense and instead of having a real meaning has a vague title (like who's now), it's a toss-up. Or merely a pointless popularity contest, another example of ESPN caring more about names and personalities than quality.

Seriously, when this idea was brought up, the person responsible should have been mocked and ridiculed. Instead we have a segment that it seems like everyone hates (except for the good folks in Bristol apparently). I can't think of anyone I know who thinks this thing is good, relevant or even remotely entertaining. It hypes players like Matt Leinart, who if you ask someone like Trey Wingo, is a great NFL quarterback. He might be someday, but he isn't now. He didn't exactly tear up a mediorce division last year, even with a slew of great weapons. And no one in Buffalo can be "Now" because they are cool enough to be in mentioned by the network that employs hip people like John Clayton and Stat Boy.

Anyway, to mock this once solid network, Riding the Pine has come up with a better version of who's now. Here's a sample of the brackets:

David Beckham vs. Harry Potter

Harry doesn't have much time for Quidditch anymore, but he gets a pass because of the whole Voldemort, saving the Wizard World thing. On the other hand, Beckham is another Brit who has been charged with saving something that is going to be difficult to save. I love soccer, always have, and even I don't care about Beckham playing with the L.A. Galaxy. And Beckham could never catch the Golden Snitch over Harry. I'm not sure but they both might have to deal with witches... (at least the witches in Harry's world aren't embarking on a Spice Girls reunion tour). Advantage: Harry Potter

Willis McGahee vs. My Left Nut

Similar personalities, but at least one can shut up and get the job done. Advantage: Not McGahee

Gary Bettman vs. David Stern

The battle to ruin to great leagues is on. But, there's a clear winner here. Stern managed to banish Bettman to hockey where he has promptly destroyed the NHL and has even managed to have a useless lockout and secure television rights with cable channel 69 in Rochester (also known as VS). His next task: promote Barry Melrose to be his right hand man and personal hair stylist. Advantage: Definitely not fans of the NBA or NHL

America's Got Talent vs. Sportscenter

I could go defecate on the stage and I would be demonstrating more talent than some of the people that have actually appeared on this program, where America's talent is judged by a 2/3s British panel. Of course the real paradox here is, how can three people with so little talent (David Hasslehoff, Sharon Osbourne and the British guy with Simon Cowell pictures stuck up his bum) judge others on their talent? The answer: they can't. Another paradox is: how can a show that features "Who's Now," be included on the list for the "Who's Now" competition? The answer is the same way many people feel about this whole Who's Now scam: Who cares. Advantage: anyone who avoids America's Got Talent

USA, USA, USA!

Just a few quick notes following the Fourth of July:

First off, I can't believe this day has come. The day where Kobayashi failed to win the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest. But it's certainly about time that an American claimed the title, and he all should be proud of the fact that Joey Chestnut downed 66 dogs in the 12-minute span of the contest.

This contest has a perfect recipe of competitiveness, comedy, grossness and American tradition. In fact, I'm just waiting for this event to be the stage for the next Dodgeball type movie about underdogs. The only question is who would play the part of Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, and who would be Kobayashi? I'm thinking Paul Reubens as Chestnut and Jet Li as Kobayashi. Directed by Ben Stiller. This could follow in the tradition of entertaining/great 4th of July movies like Independence Day and Transformers.


Speaking of Independence Day traditions, we are now well into the 2007 MLB season. Of course, the Yankees season has been a disappointment. They've gotten great play from A-Rod (MVP type year), Jeter, Posada and the occasional gem by a pitcher like Wang. But with such a weak bullpen and inconsistent pitching all around. I'm starting to doubt the Yanks ability to claim the AL Wildcard.

To make matters worse, my fantasy baseball team is struggling even worse than the Steinbrenner's crew. I have some solid pitching in Santana, Verlander, Wang and Oswalt. But injuries (B.J. Ryan) and disappointments have flooded my roster (what was I thinking drafting someone as loony as Manny Ramirez? And taking Santana over A-Rod is proving to be fatal). I cut loose some dead weight (Jermaine Dye, Delmon Young, Richie Sexson) so hopefully I can at least avoid the embarrassment of a last place finish.

And on a final note, I'm happy to find out that as of today Thomas Vanek will be a Sabre for a long time. Buffalo just recently announced that they have matched the Edmonton Oilers offer sheet, meaning that their top goal scorer will remain a Sabre and help to bring a shred of optimism to this dreadful NHL offseason. And of course this means another U.S. victory over Canada.

USA, USA, USA! Now, excuse me, I have some hot dogs to eat and fire works to set off Not really, but you still gotta love this patriotic holiday(that is, unless you're the guy who has to clean up after the Hot Dog eating contest).

State of the Sabres Address II

During today's press conference with Larry Quinn and Darcy Regier, the pair exclaimed that the sky is not falling for the Buffalo Sabres. That may be true, but after the events of yesterday (known around these parts as black Sunday, or maybe it's green Sunday for a certain pair of former Sabres), it's hard to argue that Buffalo's win total won't be falling.

The Sabres have still not made a move, and the free agent market is quickly dwindling. Buffalo can still salvage some extra talent from what's left in the free agent pool (a pool which has been violated by the New York Rangers). But the first priority is to sign restricted free agents Thomas Vanek and Derek Roy. And maybe even try to convince Dainius Zubrus to stick around for a while.

Some quality defenseman still remain possibilities as well: Sheldon Souray (a big guy with a nasty shot, he would be a big asset on the powerplay, Brad Stewart (add some needed toughness). If Teppo Numinen decides he would like to play for at least another year, then he becomes a must sign as well (it seems like every year the eventual Champion has a skilled older player who's never won the Cup. I believe Numinen is that guy for Buffalo).

There are also some long-shot possibilities at forward. I would love to have the Finnish Flash Teemu Selanne for a year or two but I rank this as a long-shot level 9.9 (roughly the same odds that I have scoring a date with Jessica Alba or Ralph Nader becoming President). Selanne is probably going to retire or sign a one-year contract to help defend the Ducks Title, and certainly wouldn't want to relocate across the country. But there's no denying that he would fit in great with the Sabres high octane offense. There aren't many other forwards to go after. There's Brendan Shanahan (probably going to re-sign with New York Ranger$), and there's Michael Peca (you know, that undersized former Sabre captain who's washed up. I hope Flyers fans get used to that sentence because that's how Briere will be described when he's in the middle of that monster contract. Another available center is Alexi Yashin, and I don't think there's many ways to make this offseason worse for the Sabres...unless they sign Yashin, that will make things ten times worse.

I am admittedly bitter towards our former Captains for leaving; however,there's no way I'll ever boo one of these guys. They've helped resurrect the franchise and they entered the lexicon of Sabres that I will always remember. I even believe Briere that he wanted to stay in Buffalo, and left not just because of the large pay increase but also because management made him feel unwanted. Seriously, they couldn't have screwed up that situation any worse than they did. As for Drury, the front office knew the importance of resigning him; unfortunately, so did the front office of the team that he always dreamed of playing for (Damn you Rangers).

So while I woke up this morning hoping that yesterday never happened, or that they discovered that it wasn't really Briere that signed with Philly, but a young French-Canadian child who just looked like the 2007 All-Star Game MVP, I've not reached the point where I'm trying to accept these changes with the team. Like most fans, I even try to talk myself into the possibility that Buffalo will be better of in the long run.

Regier is right though, the sky isn't falling, but you certainly can't blame Sabres fans for wanting an umbrella just in case.

Sabres Update (aka why I'm currently smashing my head on my keyboard)

Well, it's official. Today is one of the worst days in Sabres history.

Chris Drury decided to stay in New York State, but with Buffalo's Eastern Conference rival the New York Rangers. Good thing the NHL robbed us of a year of hockey to get a salary cap and make sure big market teams don't have a huge advantage. Otherwise the Rangers would be able to sign Drury, Scott Gomez, and pay Jagr superstar money. Oh wait, I forgot the NHL is run by the one of the most incompetent commissioners ever Gary Bettman.

I thought the Sabres could at least make a run at Smyth, but he signed with the Avs, Jason Blake (who would have fit in well) signed with another rival in Toronto. Now, like I said earlier I don't think this is the apocalypse for the Sabres, but this certainly is a kick to the groin for the organization. And, trust me, there's no other way to put it - it's the equivalent of someone dangling the fabled Stanley Cup over the heads of the collective Sabres fan base, and when we're looking up, Bettman and some of our biggest rivals come up and decide to smash us in the groin with a hockey stick. Several times too, and then for good measure Danny Briere and Chris Drury come by and run over our hearts with a Zamboni. And I shouldn't say it's the equivalent, because this literally happened to the Blue and Gold faithful.

I'm sure that by the time the season opener rolls around I'll be more confident in the product that the Sabres are putting on the ice, but for now, I can't help what could have (and possibly should have)been...


Thanks for the memories Captain Drury, Captain Briere, you guys will always be Sabres to this guy.