Mascot Mania

This column was originally published in the Volume 6 - Issue 11 - April 4, 2007 edition of the award-winning Cardinal Courier

You enter the arena and the crowd goes wild. You raise your hands in the air and signal for the audience to reach an apex of craziness. You’re impossibly hot, sweating profusely, but there’s pandemonium all around you and you feed off that. Children love you, the drunk guys in the upper deck love you and women especially love you.

So who are you?

You’re one of the most underrated parts of a sports franchise, you’re the mascot.

Think about it. Mascots are always fun, they do cool tricks and often have hilarious names.

What crowd doesn’t get pumped up when they see Sabretooth propel down from the roof of HSBC Arena before a Sabres game? Or see the Phoenix Suns Gorilla leap through a flaming hoop to throw down a vicious jam?

In some ways the mascot can be the face of a franchise as much as a star player. The mascot is just one of the fans, whether it be the rowdy, shirtless type relentlessly high-fiving others, or the family-friendly type. Plus you’ll never see a mascot leaving through free agency or blasting the team and city after they leave (cough… McGahee…cough). In college athletics the athletes have a maximum shelf life of four years, so long time fans identify the most with the coaches and the school in general (which I like to think is represented by the mascot). The two biggest stars for the Syracuse hoops team has to be: Jim Boeheim number one and Otto the Orange number two.

Of course, there is a chance that the person behind the costume is a jerk. But that doesn’t matter because it’s not about the him/her that dons that uniform, but what that costume represents. It represents the fans and having a good time. And even if the person wearing that costume is an outstanding person, they won’t be recognized in public. For instance, did you know the Suns Gorilla is actually a man named Bob Woolf? Or that David Raymond was the original Phillie Phanatic? You don’t know their names, but their characters are in the Mascot Hall of Fame (along with the San Diego Chicken and a few others).

As I mentioned in my Sabres column a few weeks ago, I love some of the zany names of these mascots (like Sparky the Dragon for the Islanders), but I feel some mascots could be improved to maximize the sheer coolness of their potential.

Let’s start with Anaheim Duck mascot. Now I know they aren’t Mighty any more, but the franchise is missing a key opportunity here. They should step it up and announce Darkwing Duck as their newest mascot. A Ducks game would be a must-see if they had Darkwing swinging from the rafters (and possibly battling NegaDuck too). Awesome.

And what’s up with the Montreal Canadiens mascot Youppi? He’s just an outcast from the defunct Expos. How about an ice-skating Mountie as a mascot that knows how to lay down the law. The San Antonio Spurs need a change too. Currently their team is represented by a coyote that wears a Tim Duncan jersey and sports two giant green orbs as its eyes. It may as well be named: Rabies, the child-scaring mascot. They should have a cowboy, or even something simple as a giant spur. There’s no reason to have an animal as a mascot just because it seems simpler.

In fact that’s what this column is missing. If you have any good costume ideas then send me an email because the Riding the Pine mascot is going to be the next great sports figure. Just don’t ask it to jump through a flaming hoop.

State of the Sabres Address

We’ve seen this before. Right, Sabres fans?

At the rate Buffalo’s players are going down with injuries, they’re going to have to lace some skates on Sabretooth and have him play defense (and this reminds me, the NHL has by far the best set of mascots, even if some of them make no sense. For example, the Islanders’ Sparky the Dragon, Carolina’s Stormy the Ice Hog and Toronto’s Carlton the Bear are all not only funny, but also child friendly).

Once again, the rash of injuries has struck some high-profile Sabres. Most noticeably, is the recent injury to one of the league’s most electrifying players: Maxim Afinogenov. Afinogenov’s broken wrist will sideline him for at least six weeks and he might not see the ice again before the playoffs. Losing one of their top playmakers will definitely hurt Buffalo’s chance at a President’s Cup (awarded to the club with the best regular season record), but shouldn’t affect the team’s ultimate goal of winning a Stanley Cup. After all, Afinogenov managed to score the equalizer goal against the Oilers after he broke his wrist.

Other injured Sabres such as Jaroslav Spacek and Jiri Novotny should also be back for what is hopefully a long playoff run. But the major blow is Paul Gaustad’s sliced tendon that will shelf him for the season. There’s no doubt that the Sabres will miss Gaustad’s punishing style of play and his rapport with linemate and co-Captain Chris Drury. If the Sabres are going to make a trade before the Feb. 27 deadline, they would most likely need to acquire a physical forward to replace Gaustad or a veteran defender to supply leadership and stability to Buffalo’s blueliners.

Of course, they don’t have to necessarily make a trade (especially considering their tight salary cap situation). They dealt with key injuries all of last year and still finished near the top of the standings. The plague of injuries that rifled through Buffalo’s defensive corps did eventually catch up with them though and it opened the door for Carolina to bring the Cup to NASCAR land. I have an idea to stop these injuries: for the next season of 24, Tom Golisano could hire Jack Bauer to protect the Sabres from both injuries and a terrorist cell made up of Zdeno Chara look-a-likes (tell me you wouldn’t tune in for that). While he’s at it, Jack could convince Gary Bettman to introduce hockey cheerleaders into the mix.

Even if Jack Bauer can’t keep Buffalo’s roster healthy, there’s still not reason to panic. If Tim Connolly (who’s currently sporting the Brittany Spears shaved head look) can successfully return from the nasty injuries he suffered against Ottawa last postseason, then Buffalo will have added firepower to shoot down the rest of the league’s major contenders. Plus call-ups like Drew Stafford can help to get the job done.

So what if the Predators traded for Peter Forsberg? That’s not the kind of move the Sabres need to make anyway. If Nashville does happen to topple the Sharks, Wings and the Ducks (formerly known as Mighty) and make it out of Western Conference, they will still be having nightmares of their 7-2 home thrashing at the hands of the Sabres back on Dec. 21.

As for the Eastern Conference competition, I still think the Sabres have the upper edge. They have more depth than the Thrashers, more experience than the Penguins and they have a history of playoff mastery against Ottawa. As for the Devils and their trap style of defense, the way I see it is that their seemingly superhuman goalie Martin Brodeur will be worn out by playoff time.

One more Sabres note, is there a play-by-play man who is more worthy of calling a Cup-clinching game than Rick Jeanneret? Jeanneret, alongside the always-reliable Jim Lorentz, adds an element of excitement to the game that few others can. In fact, if I could have one person narrate my life it would definitely be Jeanneret. I would run around getting into fights just to hear his brilliant play-by-play (“Pukos just threw down his books and…wait… now he’s headed after the girl with the scooter, holy mackerel!”)

Still, the question remains: can these Sabres slug the competition and win it all? We won’t know until June, but either way these guys are still, as Jeanneret would say, “good, scary good.”

From the Feb. 21 2007 (Vol. 6 issue 9) of the Cardinal Courier