Time to circle the wagons

There’s a scene in Kick-Ass (which if you haven’t seen it, you should because it’s awesome) that reminded me of the Buffalo Bills. More specifically what it has felt like to root for them for this past decade.

The scene is Kick-Ass’ first fight (small spoiler here, by the way), it’s against those two thugs in the parking lot. Those same guys harassed the non-costumed Kick-Ass and his friend earlier and stole their wallets. Let’s say for this analogy the two criminals are, I don’t know, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady and Kick-Ass is the Bills. The audience represents Bills fans.

They start fighting and you might be thinking that the crazy underdog in the funny looking costume might actually win. He has his batons, he looks surprising skilled and might be on the verge of kicking some ass. And right when you start thinking this, one of the thugs (Belichick) pulls a knife and stabs him in the stomach. A cheap tactic for sure, but it doesn’t matter, the fight’s over. The would-be carjackers run away and our hero is left there bleeding freely from his wound. Bills fans are thinking this bad, this can’t get worse…. and then he gets ran over by a car.

And that’s where we are as Bills fans, the team we root for is a seemingly impossible, bloody mess that desperately needs to be fixed up and made stronger. They need a heavy dose of adamantium in their bones. That process starts with this year’s draft. This has to be the turning point, the time when this team gets an identity. And the only way to do that is to get a franchise quarterback.

I’ve heard that this is one of the strongest overall drafts that we’ve seen in a while, but that the quarterback class is a weak spot. I’m no scout (obviously), yet I think it’s vital that the Bills get one of the top four QB’s in the draft (Sam Bradford, Jimmy Clausen, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow). I actually like this class and think all these guys have Pro Bowl potential (for more, you should definitely check out ESPN’s excellent feature, QB Camp with Jon Gruden).

The guy I really want to see the Bills draft is the former Notre Dame star, Clausen. He’s got a strong, but far from elite arm, but more importantly he’s a very accurate passer. He completed 68% of his passes last year, played through a tough toe injury and from what I’ve read, he was deadly in clutch scenarios. So to recap, excellent accurate, tough, plays well under pressure and possibly ready to start immediately.

The negatives that people list seem mostly superficial. These supposed flaws are that he’s cocky, or a questionable leader or that he has “hit his ceiling.” Being cocky isn’t a bad thing, the last great Bills quarterback, a guy named Jim Kelly, was fairly cocky too. The leadership thing seems off too, in fact a lot of it seems made up by guys like ESPN’s Todd McShay. I trust that Buddy Nix and crew will trust what Clausen’s Notre Dame teammates and coaches say over something a phony scout says. I also find it very hard to believe that someone who is 22 has “reached their ceiling.” That just makes no sense to me. He does have some legitimate flaws in his game (footwork, pocket presence, too much touch on the deep ball), but that’s why good coaching is so vital to a young quarterback. Hopefully, the Bills have the proper coaching to teach their new young gun.

Some Bills fans don’t like the guy simply because he’s goofy looking. Now that’s something I could care less about. Whether he looks like Jeff Spicoli or an angry ostrich it’s irrelevant. Actually, I can see it playing out as Clausen being the guy that Patriot, Dolphin and Jets fans hate. I want him to be the guy who they constantly want to punch in the face or always say, “oh, he’s not that good, he’s just overrated.” Because isn’t that what fans say of other great players? If he’s on one of your division rivals, you either hate him with a passion or you make excuses why he always beats your team. Do you know how many times I’ve heard someone say that Tom Brady or Sidney Crosby is overrated, or just a product of the system? Just trust me, this is a subject I’m all too familiar with. I just want some of these guys on one of my favorite teams. Hopefully, Clausen will be that “overrated, lucky” guy for the Bills. But, how will we get to that point?

Bradford will most likely be picked first. I could see Clausen eventually being better than him , but I can also see Bradford turning out like another recent Oklahoma offensive star with injury concerns, Adrian Peterson. Playing in a dome and a weak division, I think there’s a good chance of success for Bradford and he would be a good, but expensive pick-up for the Rams. A couple months ago, I thought Clausen would never make it to Buffalo’s pick. Washington and Seattle seemed like certainties to select the Irish star. But these teams gave up a lot (from a draft and financial standpoint) in Don McNabb (who I really wanted to see in a Bills uniform) and Charlie Whitehurst, respectfully. That leaves Cleveland, Oakland as threats or a team like the 49ers leapfrogging Buffalo. I wouldn’t be upset if Buffalo moved up a few spots to ensure they get their quarterback.

Now, with the past Bills regime, I couldn’t trust them not to screw up the draft. I’ll give Buddy Nix, Chan Gailey and crew the benefit of the doubt here, but if they have a chance to select a franchise quarterback and pass… let’s just say I’ll have a new hole in my wall. I know a lot of people are saying they need a left tackle at nine and then simply select Colt McCoy or Tim Tebow in the second round. I agree that the Bills have a desperate need for a left tackle and I see the McCoy/Drew Brees comparisons, but there are a few problems with that strategy. A number of the teams picking in front of Buffalo will also be looking at left tackles and with no truly elite players at that position can the Bills really afford to take the 4th best tackle prospect with the ninth pick just to fill a need. And there’s no way that Tebow and McCoy are still there for the Bills 41st overall, second round pick (too many teams have a QB need and these are two of the most high-profile college players in recent memory). So the Bills would have to trade back to the first round or early second round (like the 33rd overall pick, also where Drew Brees was selected). That would cost a lot (more then moving up from nine to say, six) and the Bills have so many holes to fill they can’t give up that many picks for someone like Tebow, who could be a long-term project (albeit with superstar potential).

The most frustrating thing I’ve heard from fellow Bills fans is to not select a quarterback this year, build up the rest of the team, and then draft Jake Locker or Ryan Mallett next year. This strategy is so asinine it makes my head hurt. First off, you can’t pass on a franchise QB. The Rams have done this the past few years, they’ve taken the “safe, can’t-miss” prospects like Chris Long and Jason Smith and passed on “risks” like Matt Ryan and Mark Sanchez. By the way, the Rams have won six games, total, the past three years. Awful. And Bills fans want to replicate the Rams strategy? Plus, these supposedly safe picks are just as risky as a quarterback. Also, as bad as the Bills have bad this past decade, they’re not on the level of the Lions, Rams, Raiders. Those teams have consistently picked in the top three picks while the Bills manage to win just enough to select in the 9-15 range and miss out on top passing prospects (or they reach on a guy like J.P. Losman and then pass on guys like Jay Cutler because they have Losman, ugh). So they have no guarantee to pick the top guy next year and they certainly don’t know if these guys will be better than someone like Clausen, or even McCoy.

Buddy Nix has been part of some stellar drafts in San Diego (including picking Brees, Tomlinson and Rivers), so I can only hope that he had more influence on those drafts then we think and that he’s an exceptional judge of quarterback talent. I wasn’t thrilled with him being named GM (I’m a little skeptical about a previously retired 70-year old just now getting his first GM gig), but I’ll give the guy a chance. I was pissed when I heard they hired Chan Gailey as head coach, I absolutely hated that move and it makes me nervous that there are reports that state he wants an athletic QB in the middle rounds of the draft (like Jarrett Brown). There’s even a report from Mike Lombardi (from National Football Post, and a guy who I thought the Bills should have considered for GM) that Gailey passed on Brees in Miami because they already had Ray Lucas. Yikes. So, I do have a nagging feeling that they’ll screw up this draft or take the St. Louis Ram approach, but then again, those guys know way, way, way more about football than I do, so I’ll trust them for now.

We know this; it should be an exciting draft with plenty of stars (Suh, Berry, Spiller, etc.) and some bad teams are going to make that move to jump out of the NFL’s cellar, hopefully New York state’s only team is one of them. It’s time for the Bills to circle the wagon and get their franchise quarterback. And maybe the next time someone uses an analogy from Kick-Ass to describe Buffalo, they’ll be comparing the Bills to Hit-Girl.

Rochester Red Wings: A Guide to Opening Day

Note: This article is (a slightly modified, longer version) from the April 15 of the insider, so pick one up or visit: http://rochester.metromix.com




Baseball is back and so are the Rochester Red Wings. The home opener is April 17 and if you’re considering going but lack the proper baseball knowledge,
here’s a guide of things-to-know about Frontier Field, along with some insider Red Wings knowledge to impress your friends (or date) in-between innings.

The Stadium
For the most part, all fans that go to a game share a similar goal: to see their team win… and to catch a foul ball.

The grass berm area (lawn areas below the stands) on both the first-base and third-base side is one of the better spots to get that elusive foul ball, says General Manager Dan Mason. So, what are some tips to successfully nab one of these foul balls? “Definitely bring a glove and a hat, just in case it’s sunny,” Mason says. “A lot of people don’t pay attention, they may still end up with a foul ball because it ended up in their lap or food or something. But if you’re paying attention, you’re going to know where (the ball) is going.”

He adds that the berms and the seats next to the dugouts – specifically the Red Wings’ dugout – are some of the most sought after seats. There is also a fan zone couch section in the outfield (the “couch potato,” $55 for five tickets but sold-out for the opener) and the Patio Enclosures Power Alley Grille at the 385-foot mark in right-center field – the same spot where the Frontier Field hot tub used to sit (rental is $1650 for 40 tickets and all-you-can-eat food package).

The Red Wings will continue another beloved baseball tradition this year as well – free giveaways. “For opening day, we’re doing a cowbell giveaway,” says Director of Promotions Matt Cipro. “Always on opening day we giveaway something that encourages the fans to cheer, get loud and support the team. We find that the cowbells come back game after game.” And yes, the popular Will Ferrell/cowbell Saturday Night Live clip will be displayed on the scoreboard.

Other summer promotions include, magnetic schedule giveaways, fleece blankets, baseball caps and gloves for kids, baseball cards, t-shirts, backpacks, fireworks every Friday and Saturday night, appearances by former players and a pre-game autograph tent.

Behind-the-scene MVP’s
Dave McAlpin, 25, teaches Physical Education at Monroe #1 BOCES during the day, but at night (and during the summer) he has an alter ego. He’s not a superhero, but he’s involved in one of sports most beloved and fan-friendly aspects – the mascot.

“It’s interesting having the suit on because everyone you see has some sort of reaction to you and you need to react to them as well,” he says about becoming the Wings’ mascot Spikes. McAlpin has some advice for the aspiring mascots out there too: “I always make sure to drink plenty of water before, during and after the game. You sweat a whole lot in the suit and if you don’t stay hydrated you start to feel a little woozy.”

Spikes does have help though. Amanda Prosser, 25, is the woman behind his sidekick, Mittsy. “Maybe I’ll have a bad day or be tired or stressed, but then I put the suit on and I’m automatically in a better mood,” she says. “People are smiling and laughing and it makes me feel better.”

This is McAlpin’s seventh season as the Wings male mascot and Prosser’s sixth as Mittsy. They’ve known each other since high school and have a good report with each other, but is there room for more in the Wings’ mascot family?

“Well, we haven’t really developed a relationship between (Spikes and Mittsy). Right now they’re just friends,” says Cipro, but he does offer up a teaser. “There will be a sort of mascot-related, player-related surprise on opening night. Something (fans) have seen around baseball, but never hear in Rochester.”

One thing that Rochester (and Buffalo) fans have seen many times is a certain vendor who sells beer, peanuts, popcorn and pixie sticks. His name is Tom Girot, and he’s better known as the “conehead.”

“Conehead is our most recognizable vendor,” says Mason. “He has quite a following among our fans.” Girot explains that his legendary run began as a simple Halloween purchase.

“I started wearing it in 1978. It was the first year I was married and the Coneheads were popular on Saturday Night Live. My wife bought a conehead and wore it to work and they ended up on the news. It was Halloween time and there was a Bills game that Sunday so I decided to wear it to the game,” Girot says. “I was kind of upset that she spent $20 on a piece of junk and I figured, ‘well, I better get some kind of use out of this’ and over the years I certainly have.”

Girot doesn’t do a Dan Aykroyd impression but he does offer up the Conehead guarantee, “Get a warm beer from me you drink it for free.”

Aside from the comforting yell of the vendors, another familiar Frontier Field sound is that of organist Fred Costello. He’s turned down five major-league teams – including the Yankees and Mets – to stay with the Wings (he also occasionally plays for the Buffalo Sabres).

Costello, McAlpin, Prosser and Girot all certainly play the part of the unsung heroes for the fans at the ballpark, but the players have their own unsung hero; Dr. Michael Mayer – the team dentist.

“Many of (the players) aren’t from this area and don’t have a dentist locally. They’re here from April to September and a lot of them have needs that need to be taken care of,” says Mayer. “We’ve had to deal with chipped teeth and lost fillings through the habits of chewing (sunflower) seeds and gum. We do some teeth whitening too because a lot of these guys are on baseball cards or other photos and they want their teeth to look nice and white.”

Refreshments
The assortment of food and beverages at the stadium aren’t exactly a dentist’s dream, but there’s something for every other fan. In the concourse area is ‘Sup Dog – a variety of hot dogs including the plate dog (think garbage plate) and the DiMaggio dog (peppers, onions and home fries). There’s also pizza, burgers, pulled pork, cheesesteaks, nachos, subs, wraps, fish, ice cream, a Red Osier stand and an allergen (gluten, dairy, nut) free stand called “Free.”

To quench your thirst there’s water, soda, coffee and beer (including the exclusive Rohrbach-brewed Red Wing “Red” Ale, Labatt, Bud and Genny). The Wings also have their own bar located in the stadium, The 10th Inning Bar, located at the end of the concourse. It includes, flat-screen TV’s and is also in a spot where you can just walk around the corner and still see the action in the Wings game. “It stays open – depending on the night- a half-hour to an hour after the game,” Cipro says.

Date Night
Taking a date to a ballgame is a nice alternative to being stuck in a movie theater or restaurant, especially when the weather is nice. Here’s a few things-to-know about a Red Wings date night (and how to avoid any Bill Buckner-type errors).

The grass berms are perfect for a picnic date. If you’re at the berm on the third-base side just remember to avoid the jokes at the expense of the “nut-free” zone signs (they’re for people with peanut allergies). Be alert for those foul balls too, your night will be over quickly if your date has the stitching from a baseball tattooed to his/her forehead. However, retrieving a foul ball for your date could be a romantic gesture. Tip: although it may seem like a good idea at first, beating up the little-league crowd to retrieve said foul ball is not romantic.

Frontier Field doesn’t have a kiss-cam, and that’s good news for your date. This will help avoid that whole awkward situation of having your first kiss be a clash of beer breath and relish mouth in front of 10,000 people. They do have a smile-cam, however. That’s manageable (as long as you’re careful with the mustard that is).

There’s plenty of time for conversation at a baseball date too. Sprinkling in the occasional baseball facts or Red Wings tidbits is good conversation fodder, but if you start debating the merits of a player’s on-base percentage versus slugging percentage then you might be losing your date. (Unless he/she is in several fantasy leagues…) The seventh-inning stretch is a good time to check out the Frontier Field bar (The 10th Inning) and buy your date a drink. If things are going well, a blowout (in favor of the Wings of course) can be your ally. You’ll have a valid reason to leave early and continue your date elsewhere. And if you go to a Friday or Saturday night game, you can close out the date by staying and watching the fireworks at the end of the game together. Have fun, and one last thing to remember (and this is important): no baseball metaphors for sex. You won’t be “scoring” or “getting to third-base” that way – you’ll just be left on the bench.

Players to Watch
General Manager Dan Mason says to keep an eye on these Wings: SS Trevor Plouffe, 3B Danny Valencia, C Wilson Ramos, P Anthony Swarzak, P Jeff Manship, P Anthony Slama

Game Day
What: Rochester Red Wings home opener versus Pawtucket Red Sox.
When: 4:05 p.m. Saturday, April 17. Doors open at 2:30 p.m.
Where: Frontier Field – 1 Morrie Silver Way
Ticket prices: $8-$12 for reserved, upper-deck and/or premium seats.
Parking: Parking lots around the stadium.

"We're gonna win that cup!"

Is this the year of the "loser cities?"

I interviewed Tom "Conehead" Girot - a popular vendor at Sabres, Bills, Rochester Red Wings games - a couple weeks ago and the conversation turned to the Buffalo Sabres' Cup chances. He told me that he's hoping this will be the year of the "loser cities." He explained, New Orleans won the Super Bowl to start the trend, the Lebron James led Cleveland Cavaliers are favorites to win the NBA title and the Sabres have the "best player, at the most important position” (goalie Ryan Miller).

Is this possible? Absolutely. But as a Buffalo fan, I have to stay cautiously optimistic. During their 2006 Cup run, I was convinced they would win it all. They would have too, if their entire defense didn’t get injured at the same time. So every time these crazy visions of Ryan Miller, Lindy Ruff and crew lifting the Cup flood into my head I try to justify my expectations. After all, there are more talented teams out there and Buffalo teams are notoriously unlucky. There title hopes usually end up like Jack Bauer’s love life (spoiler: things go horribly wrong).

One of the best opening scenarios for the Sabres is they dispatch of Boston fairly quickly. Any playoff series is nerve-racking. My guess is the Sabres will win in six, but it will be tough. Still, I’m surprised by how many people I’ve seen picking the Bruins to win. Three out of six Sports Illustrated prognosticators are picking the Bruins (usually in six, sometimes seven) and most of the people that have Buffalo winning say it will take seven games. None have the Sabres making it past the second round (they all have the Devils beating the Sabres in seven). But I guess it does make sense to have the worst offensive team in the league (statically that is, the Bruins scored the least amount of goals out of every team in the league) upsetting the team with the best goalie.. (flawless logic obviously.)

Now, I’m being pretty condescending about Boston’s chances but the truth is they’re a division rival with an excellent goalie (surprise, it’s the rookie Rask and not last year’s Vezina winner Tim Thomas) and a very good defense (Along with Chris Neil, Chara is one of my least favorite players). Plus, it’s the playoffs. Anything can happen.

My other gripe with these ESPN and SI playoff previews is how almost all of them state this series as a bore. The Sabres aren’t the offensive powerhouse of a few years ago, but they aren’t too bad and like every Sabres fan, I’m hoping superstar Thomas Vanek will catch fire. Anyway, these games are probably going to be low scoring but that doesn’t make them boring. This is going to be physical, tense playoff hockey and I’m pumped for it. I think all these games will be close – maybe some overtime thrillers – and that certainly isn’t boring.

If all the top seeds win in the East, that wouldn’t be too bad for the Sabres. I think they can beat the Devils and I feel better playing them than Pittsburgh, Washington or Ottawa. The Flyers were 5-1 against the Devils during the regular season (edit: and they won Game 1), so if they upset the Devils, it’s most likely Buffalo will play Ottawa or Pittsburgh. I actually would rather play Ottawa. Crosby just seems to have the Sabres number during crunch time. Either way, if the Sabres are to finally capture that elusive Cup, it makes sense that they would have to go through either one of their biggest rivals (Ottawa) or through the defending champs (Pittsburgh).

If the Sabres return to the Eastern Conference Finals (and as crazy as it may sound, I think they will), then things get tricky. Now I know that the President’s Trophy winning team has struggled to capture the Cup in the past, but I can’t pick against Washington at this point. I don’t see them as the offensive juggernaut with questionable goaltending that’s fated to get upset. I see them more like the Detroit Red Wings of the past two years. A supremely talented team with a good – not great – goaltender that steps up and separates themselves from the pack. Of course, Detroit did have more playoff experience and they still lost to the Penguins last year. So there’s that. If the Sabres run into the Caps, it will be in the Eastern Conference Finals and they’ll need the offense to step up, for Miller to play out of his mind (again) and for a little bit of luck. I’ll go for a reverse jinx/safe, predictable choice and say that Washington will win.

A lot of casual hockey fans are looking for the marquee matchups i.e. Ovechkin vs. Crosby, Caps vs. Blackhawks or Wings. But that doesn’t happen that often. It has happened the past two years with Red Wings-Pens, but I’m going on a limb and say that the Western Conference champion will be… Phoenix.

Yep. Aside from Detroit, they’re the hottest team in the league. Everyone is picking the Wings to beat them, but I see the Coyotes as that random warm-weather team that makes a surprise run to the Cup (like Tampa Bay, Anaheim and, ugh, Carolina). The West is going to be wild this year though, I could see Vancouver emerging too or favorites like Chicago and Detroit making the finals, or even the alleged postseason challenged, one-seed San Jose Sharks. Then again, any of these teams could lose in the first-round. I have no idea, and that’s why playoff hockey is awesome (not to mention stressful).

My pick: I’ll take Washington over Phoenix. But I think/hope this will turn out like my NCAA bracket (hint: I picked zero Final Four teams).

I’m going to end this on an optimistic note. During the Olympics, I had a crazy theory that Ryan Miller would steal the show and finally get his due as one of the NHL’s elite. In turn, this would lead to casual American hockey fans rooting for Miller in the playoffs and this positive Karma would counteract the horrible, possibly cursed Karma of the city of Buffalo. Kind of like casual baseball fans rooting for the Red Sox leading to a miracle against the Yankees and a Championship (oh, that’s what throwing up in your mouth feels like). Part of this crazy theory came true, the Americans didn’t win Gold but Miller did steal the show. Could this be? Would the hockey Gods allow this? I’m thinking yes.

That’s why I implore you casual hockey fans to join the Ryan Miller, Buffalo Sabres bandwagon. I Promise, it will be a fun ride and we can teach you about the French Connection, May Day, Rick Jeanerette, etc. etc. We’ll even let you guys wear the championship hats and t-shirts that we’ve pined after for so long. Most people will even look at us and our optimism and think, those guys are going to be sorely disappointed come June when some other club’s captain is making out with Lord Stanley’s Cup. And maybe that’s so, I’ve been sorely disappointed at the end of every hockey season I’ve followed. But then again, anything can happen…