The Finale

This column was originally published in the Volume 6 - Issue 12 - April 18, 2007 edition of the award-winning Cardinal Courier

So, it’s come down to this, my final column in the Cardinal Courier. And this one is going to be all about the man behind Riding the Pine: me (break out the Kleenex, because this one could get emotional).

Some of you may have not realized I was a senior (due to my boyish good looks), but I am. I have only written for the Courier for 3 years though, because I joined my sophomore year. My first duty at the Courier was to write movie reviews with my friend Luke, which was a pretty sweet gig even though I’m still waiting to get reimbursed for those films. But, it was still fun and it helped to introduce me to the Courier community. (This reminds me, Democrat and Chronicle, if you’re looking for a new movie reviewer, I will work for cheap).

Both the Courier and the campus itself, has changed immensely throughout my tenure here. For example, does anyone else remember the beach volleyball area outside Haffey? Or how about when you could get late night dining at the Fishbowl at 7, instead of 8? And believe it or not freshmen, that giant construction zone in the center of campus used to be a nice little spot called Lavery Lawn. A place where people could toss a disc around, play a round of frolf (frisbee-golf) or just hang out by the picnic tables.

That last part may seem a little negative, but I’m just doing something that we all do: reminisce on good times. When I look back at my time here, I’ll block out most of the negative stuff and remember the little things that trigger those good memories. There’s the “drunk stairs” from freshman year, there’s the time Haffey 3 exploded after Aaron Boone’s homerun buried the Red Sox. And then there’s the Unicorns of Death floor hockey squad, the addition of buffalo chicken in the omelets, the intense racquetball matches and the New York trip with the Courier staff.

Ah, good times.

It’s nice to look back and rediscover everything I’ve written for the Courier. My movie reviews, my plead for an on-campus bar and of course the entire Riding the Pine catalogue. It’s been a good year for you benchwarmers (that’s what I’m going to start calling my fan base). In past issues, I’ve predicted the future, voiced my displeasure over the Sabres slug logo, I’ve defended A-Rod and offended T.O. I’ve crossed the border of rowdiness with rival Nazareth (and mocked their affection for purple shirts and wine coolers), I’ve dreamt of Rick Jeanneret narrating my life and I’ve demonstrated the true greatness of mascots. I’ve made some of the most obscure references I could think up, including a sporting Facebook, Darkwing Duck and The Mole. And now it’s come to this, my farewell column.

I’ll still have a Riding the Pine blog (http://ridingthepinesports.blogspot.com/), that has all my past columns and anything new I want to add, but it’s not the same as having my designated spot near Extra Innings in the Courier’s sports section. This makes me realize that even with all the change on campus and at the Courier, I have changed too. Sure, some things are the same. I’m still a twin, I’m still a World Champion (Odyssey of the Mind 2003), I’m still a fan of the Sabres, Bills and Yankees (and I still like to use parentheses when I write). But I know this place has made me a better writer, a smarter individual and dare I say, a better person.

As George Costanza would say, showmanship is important and leaving on a high note always leaves the audience wanting more. After a killer joke, he would say, “that’s it for me” and he would make his triumphant exit.

It’s now time for me to make my exit, so to St. John Fisher I say…
That’s it for me.

Mascot Mania

This column was originally published in the Volume 6 - Issue 11 - April 4, 2007 edition of the award-winning Cardinal Courier

You enter the arena and the crowd goes wild. You raise your hands in the air and signal for the audience to reach an apex of craziness. You’re impossibly hot, sweating profusely, but there’s pandemonium all around you and you feed off that. Children love you, the drunk guys in the upper deck love you and women especially love you.

So who are you?

You’re one of the most underrated parts of a sports franchise, you’re the mascot.

Think about it. Mascots are always fun, they do cool tricks and often have hilarious names.

What crowd doesn’t get pumped up when they see Sabretooth propel down from the roof of HSBC Arena before a Sabres game? Or see the Phoenix Suns Gorilla leap through a flaming hoop to throw down a vicious jam?

In some ways the mascot can be the face of a franchise as much as a star player. The mascot is just one of the fans, whether it be the rowdy, shirtless type relentlessly high-fiving others, or the family-friendly type. Plus you’ll never see a mascot leaving through free agency or blasting the team and city after they leave (cough… McGahee…cough). In college athletics the athletes have a maximum shelf life of four years, so long time fans identify the most with the coaches and the school in general (which I like to think is represented by the mascot). The two biggest stars for the Syracuse hoops team has to be: Jim Boeheim number one and Otto the Orange number two.

Of course, there is a chance that the person behind the costume is a jerk. But that doesn’t matter because it’s not about the him/her that dons that uniform, but what that costume represents. It represents the fans and having a good time. And even if the person wearing that costume is an outstanding person, they won’t be recognized in public. For instance, did you know the Suns Gorilla is actually a man named Bob Woolf? Or that David Raymond was the original Phillie Phanatic? You don’t know their names, but their characters are in the Mascot Hall of Fame (along with the San Diego Chicken and a few others).

As I mentioned in my Sabres column a few weeks ago, I love some of the zany names of these mascots (like Sparky the Dragon for the Islanders), but I feel some mascots could be improved to maximize the sheer coolness of their potential.

Let’s start with Anaheim Duck mascot. Now I know they aren’t Mighty any more, but the franchise is missing a key opportunity here. They should step it up and announce Darkwing Duck as their newest mascot. A Ducks game would be a must-see if they had Darkwing swinging from the rafters (and possibly battling NegaDuck too). Awesome.

And what’s up with the Montreal Canadiens mascot Youppi? He’s just an outcast from the defunct Expos. How about an ice-skating Mountie as a mascot that knows how to lay down the law. The San Antonio Spurs need a change too. Currently their team is represented by a coyote that wears a Tim Duncan jersey and sports two giant green orbs as its eyes. It may as well be named: Rabies, the child-scaring mascot. They should have a cowboy, or even something simple as a giant spur. There’s no reason to have an animal as a mascot just because it seems simpler.

In fact that’s what this column is missing. If you have any good costume ideas then send me an email because the Riding the Pine mascot is going to be the next great sports figure. Just don’t ask it to jump through a flaming hoop.